Welcome to Coming of Age

Before I begin this week's post, I just wanted to give everyone a heads up that I will be taking next week off from all of my writing projects (both blogs, webcomic, and other personal projects) as I will be going on a crazy adventure with my cousin. So I'll be dropping off the face of the Earth for a long weekend.

This past weekend I was invited to the Bat Mitzvah of a family friend's daughter. It was my first time going to a Bat Mitzvah and I thought it was a beautiful ceremony as well as a fun party. Our friends were extremely proud of their daughter and were thrilled to celebrate with family and friends.

A Bat Mitzvah is an important religious coming of age. Our friends' daughter had to attend Hebrew School and devote a lot of her free time to get ready for it. The closest I have ever experienced (and I don't feel it compares as much) was my confirmation. It was my religious coming of age in the church.

I think all kids both crave and fear adulthood. Adulthood is the freedom to do whatever you please (at least to a child it seems that way), but there are a lot of complicated feelings that come with growing up. There are many different religious and cultural events that indicate when a child has reached adulthood, but just because society deems someone an adult doesn't mean that that someone feels like one.

I know I sometimes still don't feel like an adult and I'm in my mid-twenties.

Someone please right a story based on this image...

Society has set the bar high when it comes to these events too. Shows like My Super Sweet 16 or the insane prom stories that pop up on Facebook in April and May have caused many teenagers to want big over-the-top parties and try to out do their friends. It can make a person envious.

Then there are the coming of age novels or movies that adults love to show teenagers. I remember having to watch Now and Then as well as Stand By Me when I was going through my confirmation classes and reading To Kill a Mockingbird  and House on Mango Street in school. These books and movies were meant to help us understand that there would be a point were you just couldn't be a child anymore. The loss of childhood innocence was inevitable.

What all of these stories, movies, and shows didn't mention was that coming of age wasn't necessarily one event in your life time.

Some days I look back and don't feel I ever went through a coming of age event. There wasn't one moment that I instantly knew I wasn't a kid anymore.

Don't get me wrong, there were a lot of moments where I lost that "childhood innocence" adults try to protect. But I didn't have that big adventure that spanned one amazing summer that was a popular narrative in these stories.

I think that's true for a lot of people, especially people my age.

We're stuck in a weird limbo where we still feel like kids and wish we didn't have to face the cold world of adulthood. Childhood was fun and carefree, even if our parents and teachers had final say on everything. Adulthood is a mess of never ending responsibilities, so many uncertainties, and mixed emotions.

Childhood was full of possibility. Adulthood just feels overwhelming.

However, I couple of weeks ago, I was at a guest lecture event for one of my writing groups. While the author was describing the book he had written (The Ferryman Institute by Colin Gigl), he said that it was sort of a coming of age story for adults and that anyone can go through a coming of age story no matter how old they are.

It was a message that I think I needed to hear.

There are a lot of different adventures that I can go on throughout my life and I can learn and grow during each of them. Coming of age stories aren't just for children becoming adults, they're for everyone.

I hope everyone has a fun Halloween. Get dressed up, eat a ton of candy, and act like a little kid. I have several costumes picked out for the next couple of days.

Until next time!

If you enjoyed this post (or it really pissed you off) please like, share, and/or leave a comment. I love hearing from my readers and I hope you guys like hearing from me.

Welcome to Standing Before a Crowd

This past week, I challenged myself to do something that I find terrifying. I read in front of a crowd of strangers two of my original poems at open mic night. To some people this might not be a huge deal. The coffee shop is small, the people very nice, and it can be fun to preform before a crowd.

To someone like me, especially with my anxiety, it can be a nightmare made real.

I don't know if I could ever address a crowd this size.
(March on Washington)

Thankfully, everyone there was really nice and encouraging. (Big shout out to everyone who liked my Facebook post - you guys are awesome). The man who hosts the event told me that I would eventually get used to preforming. A few people took the time to tell me afterwards how much they liked my poems.

I'm looking forward to going back and preforming again...even if I'm still a little anxious about it.

It can be really hard standing up in front of a crowd. When everyone is focused on me, I feel like I'm suddenly under a microscope. I start breathing too fast, my muscles tighten up, and my mind blanks out. I start to worry too much about what people will think and doubt myself.

Are my poems good enough?

Do I look silly up here?

Is anyone taking me seriously?

But I hope they aren't taking me too seriously?

Oh, no, do I look alright? Should I have worn a different outfit? Does my hair look okay?

I feel a bit like this poor guy melting.
(Street art in Iceland)

Stage fright isn't an uncommon fear. I think most people feel this at some point or another. I know I have every single time I've had to address a large crowd of people. Even back in high school, I hated taking center stage. 

However, that fear doesn't stop me from craving the spotlight on occasion. 

I have a lot to say and I want to get my message out there (through poetry or by blogging - it's very similar). Just because I'm afraid or uncomfortable, doesn't mean I shouldn't try to speak up. It means I need to practice and again experience. 

There will always be people who don't like what I have to say. Less than a year after I started blogging, I had someone send me nasty messages about how what I was doing was stupid and no one even cared. They weren't critiquing or disagreeing with me. They were trying to bully me into silence. 

And that wasn't okay.

Instead of taking what they wrote to me to heart, I didn't engage and simply blocked them. It's one way to deal with a bully you can't reason with. 

These types of people will always exist. They'll tell you to "sit down and shut up" or tell you that what you have to say is stupid or insignificant ("there are things you should talk about").

Don't listen. 

Then there's the worst critic of them all: yourself.

It's true. I am my own worst critic. I'm always thinking that what I've written isn't good enough and needs to be improved. 

The problem is, if I never show anyone my work, I'll never hear an opinion that isn't my own. I'll never get my work out there. 

I might always have to battle the voice of doubt at the back of my mind, but I won't let it hold me back. I'll never get used to speaking in front of a crowd without practicing.

But it's still okay if I'm afraid.

If you enjoyed this post (or it really pissed you off) please like, share, and/or leave a comment. I love hearing from my readers and I hope you guys like hearing from me. Until next week. 

Welcome to Pumpkin Overload

It's the dead center of October! The leaves are changing colors, everything smells wonderful, and no one can escape the excess number of products with the words "pumpkin spice" in sparkly orange font on the packaging.

I love it all!

Yes I am one of those pumpkin crazy nuts who loves all things pumpkin (well, within reason) and may or may not be sipping a fresh made pumpkin juice drink while writing this post (please see foodblog at the end of the month for details). Okay, I might have a slight problem.

And even I can see that things are getting way out of hand. Every company and their brother seems to come out with a new pumpkin flavored [insert product here] to their fall line up. All of the coffee places offer a pumpkin spice latte, pumpkin spice chocolates are in the candy aisle, and pumpkin spice candles are proudly displayed. Heck, I can even smell like my favorite combination of spices with different lotions, lip chaps, and even deodorant.

It's like the marketing industry has decided we must ooze the aroma of fresh baked pumpkin pie.

This over-hype doesn't stop me from loving it. I know it makes me "basic" (see Buzzfeed for details) and I don't care. Fall is my favorite time of year and I will celebrate it.

Some people might look down on me for my love of pumpkin. A few people tease me for buying that pumpkin spice bagel. I might even be seen as stereotyping myself for loving this pumpkin obsessed season.

I will own my love of pumpkin spice. I will shout it from the top of every Starbucks in New York City...all 361 (according to Quora 2017)! I will drink my pumpkin spice latte, while eating a pumpkin spice muffin, slathering on some pumpkin spice lotion, and walking down the street with a pumpkin hat on my head.

Because it's okay for me to love pumpkins.

Everyone has their one thing that they love to the point of die hard obsession and that's not necessarily a bad thing. Some people have their sports team, others won't hear anything against their favorite fandom, and a few are always first in line to buy the latest Apple tech. There's nothing wrong with loving something, even if people look down on you because you like it.

 So if you're someone who loves trying every microbrewery they come across, or has a passion for raising alpacas, or are a Dallas Stars fan (I've heard you guys exist) don't listen to the naysayers. Enjoy your passion and don't let anyone take it away from you.

Until next week.

If you enjoyed this post (or it really pissed you off) please like, share, and/or leave a comment. I love hearing from my readers and I hope you guys like hearing from me.

Welcome to Inktober

There are a lot of great things about October. The leaves begin to change, Halloween is right around the corner, and pumpkin mania is at its highest peak (I regret nothing). I recently learned about another great reason to celebrate the month of October - Inktober!

Inktober is a month long celebration of ink drawings. This can include sketches, comics, webcomics, etc. People post them on [insert social media platform here] with the hashtag #inktober or #inktober2017.

#inktober #prompt8 #crooked

I love this idea. 

See I'm a big comic book, manga, and graphic novel reader. My first comic books were Asterix comics from the 1960s that belonged to my dad. And no, these books aren't just for kids. There are a lot of amazing stories to be read that include war, horror, romance, and mystery (to name a few genres). I am always surprised when someone writes off these stories as just being for kids (same thing can be said for animation).

There are a lot of great webcomics that I can recommend. Since it's October, the season of all things scary, check out Helsirvente. It's perfect for this time of year since it's all about ghost hunting. I even draw my own webcomic (not that I'm trying to plug it or anything - it updates on Thursdays at 6:00pm) and would love to one day have a published graphic novel.

That isn't to say that comics, manga, and graphic novels are the only things to celebrate during Inktober. There's a lot of art that is created using nothing but pen and paper. Some of it is super realistic that it's almost like looking at a photograph. Others are beautifully abstract and really stimulate the imagination. 

And don't forget about animation. A fair number of early animation shorts (when film was still in it's infancy) was created by cartoonists hand drawing each cel of animation. Out of the Inkwell was a series of shorts in the 1920s that shows a cartoon character coming to life from pen ink. Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck also references the ink animation technique in the classic Duck Amuck.

So what do you need to participate in Inktober if you haven't started already?

Nothing fancy. A piece of paper and a pen are all that you really need to get started. Maybe draw a sketch everyday day, or start a comic book/webcomic, or create your next/first tattoo.

Inktober also has a list of prompts for each day of the month. You can click here to learn more!

And don't get discouraged if you're not happy with the first drawings that you do. When I compare the latest pages of my webcomic to the very first that I posted (or even my high school sketchbook to the one I'm currently working in), I can visibly see how much I've improved. What matters is having fun and enjoying the art that's being created!

Happy Inktober everyone. I hope to see more sketches as the month goes on.

Until next week.

If you enjoyed this post (or it really pissed you off) please like, share, and/or leave a comment. I love hearing from my readers and I hope you guys like hearing from me. And if you guys have any webcomic/manga/graphic novel suggestions, please send them my way!

Welcome to Being Heard

"This is a revolution, dammit! We're going to have to offend SOMEbody!" (John Adams, 1776: The Musical).

Before I begin this post, I wanted to let everyone know that some readers will not like what I have to say. I'm okay with that. I realize that when I choose to express an opinion, especially a controversial one, that there will be consequences that I will have to face. However, I feel strongly that I need to express my view point.

I have a blog. It's a place where I can express myself and people can choose to read or ignore my inner thoughts on random things as they please (though I am happy that people read the blog). No one can stop me from posting if I want to write something...at least not in the United States.

The modern world has created many different avenues for getting messages heard, but it used to not be so instantaneous. During the Revolutionary War, messages traveled a lot slower. Most people would gather in the town square to hear someone read out loud the latest news and proclamations. It was how Thomas Paine promoted his work "Common Sense" (you can see reenactments of this in Colonial Williamsburg).

Though we have many ways of sending a message with our modern technology, it can sometimes feel like we are shouting in a room that is already so full of noise, that our voice is drowned out and lost in the void.

Can you hear me now?

Everyone has a message. Everyone has something to say. From the mundane to the radical. From the asinine to the truly profound. Arguing with some faceless troll online is pointless, yet people continue to do so because they feel strongly about the subject (just look at the comment section under any political article posted by George Takei).

Social media is like a tossed salad. There are a lot of different toppings that you can choose to toss out. If you don't like what someone has to say, you can block them. If someone is harassing you, you can report them and they might lose their account (admittedly to varying degrees of success).

I had one nasty troll sending me messages on Facebook about my blog. You bet I reported and blocked them. There wasn't a point trying to engage with someone who obviously wanted to make me feel bad about something I enjoyed doing.

There are other, more powerful ways to send a message that can be promoted by social media. Holding marches in cities, protesting in the street, creating art for everyone to see, kneeling at a football game, and many other public demonstrations get people's attention. Yes, eventually they will end up on social media, but this isn't just a passive click to show I like and support something. This is taking action in a way that is harder to ignore, harder to block out.

When I was still in college, there was a man who liked to stand outside of one of the big science buildings. He would hold up a sign and shout at all of us all the different reasons why we were going to hell and that we needed to renounce our wicked ways (there were about 10 or 12 reasons why I was going to hell according to this guy). He was annoying and I completely disagreed with his message, but occasionally one of the smart-mouthed biology or psychology students would start shouting back at this guy. They would argue and the students would get a good laugh at the expense of Mr. Ultra-Religious.

[Insert credit where credit is due here]

We never told this guy to leave. We never had him removed from campus by police or chased him away. He was annoying sure and I highly doubt anyone on campus liked him. He was peacefully protesting our "heathen ways" in a space that wasn't really his to begin with, but we didn't have a right to silence his voice.

This past week, there was a lot of attention being given to the fact that many players in the NFL chose to take a knee during the national anthem. Most people I saw online supported the NFL players right to protest, but some people didn't. Some people thought that the football players should just play football and not express their opinion on a subject that they feel so incredibly passionate about that they want everyone who watches their games to know.

I disagree. Kneeling during the national anthem is a respectful and peaceful protest and the NFL players have a right to express their thoughts. Their message is that there are problems in our country that need to be addressed and fixed.

No one has the right to silence anyone in this country. That's not saying that people have to listen to the message or agree with it. I have a right to express my thoughts and feelings, no matter how mundane, but no one has to listen to me. It also isn't true that I will be free from consistences by voicing my opinion or taking an action on something, especially something that is very controversial.

So don't tell me to shut up and sit down. Don't be patronizing. These tactics won't work. They'll just make me angry and louder. Instead, maybe listen to what I have to say, try to engage me in conversation, and show some empathy.

Oh, and about that controversial statement that I mentioned I would be making at the beginning of this post:

"Mean Girls is overrated."

Until next week.

If you enjoyed this post (or it really pissed you off) please like, share, and/or leave a comment. I love hearing from my readers and I hope you guys like hearing from me.