Welcome to Coming of Age

Before I begin this week's post, I just wanted to give everyone a heads up that I will be taking next week off from all of my writing projects (both blogs, webcomic, and other personal projects) as I will be going on a crazy adventure with my cousin. So I'll be dropping off the face of the Earth for a long weekend.

This past weekend I was invited to the Bat Mitzvah of a family friend's daughter. It was my first time going to a Bat Mitzvah and I thought it was a beautiful ceremony as well as a fun party. Our friends were extremely proud of their daughter and were thrilled to celebrate with family and friends.

A Bat Mitzvah is an important religious coming of age. Our friends' daughter had to attend Hebrew School and devote a lot of her free time to get ready for it. The closest I have ever experienced (and I don't feel it compares as much) was my confirmation. It was my religious coming of age in the church.

I think all kids both crave and fear adulthood. Adulthood is the freedom to do whatever you please (at least to a child it seems that way), but there are a lot of complicated feelings that come with growing up. There are many different religious and cultural events that indicate when a child has reached adulthood, but just because society deems someone an adult doesn't mean that that someone feels like one.

I know I sometimes still don't feel like an adult and I'm in my mid-twenties.

Someone please right a story based on this image...

Society has set the bar high when it comes to these events too. Shows like My Super Sweet 16 or the insane prom stories that pop up on Facebook in April and May have caused many teenagers to want big over-the-top parties and try to out do their friends. It can make a person envious.

Then there are the coming of age novels or movies that adults love to show teenagers. I remember having to watch Now and Then as well as Stand By Me when I was going through my confirmation classes and reading To Kill a Mockingbird  and House on Mango Street in school. These books and movies were meant to help us understand that there would be a point were you just couldn't be a child anymore. The loss of childhood innocence was inevitable.

What all of these stories, movies, and shows didn't mention was that coming of age wasn't necessarily one event in your life time.

Some days I look back and don't feel I ever went through a coming of age event. There wasn't one moment that I instantly knew I wasn't a kid anymore.

Don't get me wrong, there were a lot of moments where I lost that "childhood innocence" adults try to protect. But I didn't have that big adventure that spanned one amazing summer that was a popular narrative in these stories.

I think that's true for a lot of people, especially people my age.

We're stuck in a weird limbo where we still feel like kids and wish we didn't have to face the cold world of adulthood. Childhood was fun and carefree, even if our parents and teachers had final say on everything. Adulthood is a mess of never ending responsibilities, so many uncertainties, and mixed emotions.

Childhood was full of possibility. Adulthood just feels overwhelming.

However, I couple of weeks ago, I was at a guest lecture event for one of my writing groups. While the author was describing the book he had written (The Ferryman Institute by Colin Gigl), he said that it was sort of a coming of age story for adults and that anyone can go through a coming of age story no matter how old they are.

It was a message that I think I needed to hear.

There are a lot of different adventures that I can go on throughout my life and I can learn and grow during each of them. Coming of age stories aren't just for children becoming adults, they're for everyone.

I hope everyone has a fun Halloween. Get dressed up, eat a ton of candy, and act like a little kid. I have several costumes picked out for the next couple of days.

Until next time!

If you enjoyed this post (or it really pissed you off) please like, share, and/or leave a comment. I love hearing from my readers and I hope you guys like hearing from me.

Welcome to a Writer's Fear

I would love to one day see myself on a best selling author's list. Or even have a novel or short story I've written turned into a popular movie series. I hope to one day have people look back fondly on my work like I do with stories written by J.K. Rowling and Terry Pratchett.

I know I'm not the only person who has these types of dreams. It doesn't matter if they are about being a writer, a movie maker, a musician, or any other type of creation.

I've been told that I can write well. I've been told I have a wild imagination. I've been told that I am a good story teller. I've been told a lot of things about my writing, nearly all of them good.

Yet there's always this nagging voice in the back of my mind that causes me to doubt myself. Between writer's block and fear that my stories are no where near good enough for strangers to read, I struggle to finish short stories and novels (or if I do finish them, then finishing the rewriting and editing).

I don't make it a secret that I write fan fiction (no not the 50 Shades of Grey kind). It's where I've been experimenting with my style and different genres. I've gotten some great feedback on most of my stories. However, I've stopped rereading them.

Why?

Because when I go back and read those stories, all I see is where I could have improved them. I notice all the small changes that I could have made that would have made my work better. I also start to sometimes think that what I've written is silly and that maybe I shouldn't have posted them at all.

Doubt is my worst enemy.

Even this blog can be a struggle sometimes. I have posted once a week consistently (with one or two skips) since 2013. I've had many posts that I've started and then promptly deleted. There have been many weeks where I've wondered if I should click that "publish" button because once I do, anyone can see it.

 Will people laugh at what I have to say? Am I writing anything worth reading? Is this even good?

Don't get me wrong. I know negative feedback is going to happen. I can't grow as a writer without negative feedback. I just find that there's a difference between being told that a few things in my writing don't work versus being told that what I've written is complete garbage. It's that fear of being complete garbage that always makes me pause (and occasionally ask someone for a second opinion) before hitting that "publish" button.

I've recently joined two writers groups. I've submitted a few samples of my writing and I've gotten the constructive feedback that I need (what does and doesn't work). Each time that it was my turn to submit, I almost said "never mind, I actually don't have anything to share."

Thankfully I didn't back out. I got the feedback that I needed to make improvements to future drafts and I'm looking to publish a short story (more developments to come). It helps my confidence to know that people like some of the things I write.

It might be totally irrational, but one of my biggest fears is that I'm not writing anything worth reading.

Finding that confidence might be the toughest challenge that I face, that or editing. I have very little patience for editing.

If you enjoyed this post (or it really pissed you off), please like, share, and/or leave a comment. I love hearing from my readers and I hope you guys like hearing from me. Until next week.

Welcome to NaNoWriMo

So you've never heard of NaNoWriMo? Or maybe you have seen the mash up of letters, but have no idea what it means. Or maybe you already know what it is and want to know why I'm writing about it this week.

NaNoWriMo is a challenge to write a 50,000 word novel (which is the bare minimum word count for a novel) in a single month. The focus is not on perfection, but on finishing the (censored) things. The idea is that once the novel is finished, the author is more likely to go back and edit, revise, or get it published later.

So why am I writing about this now?

Do I even have a good story to tell?

Well NaNoWriMo is comprised of four words National Novel Writing Month. That's right. November is the national month of writing a novel. It doesn't matter if the novel is fiction, nonfiction, or a fan fiction. What matters is that it's at least 50,000 words.

My cousin and I are both writers. It doesn't matter that we're not 'officially' published, we write thus we are writers. We're currently competing against each other to finish writing our current novel projects by the end of the month. Whoever looses must treat the winner to dinner.

Technically, we started this little competition back in October. We did this because our schedules at this time are absolutely crazy and we are trying to motivate each other to finish writing that story that has been floating around in the back of our minds for a while now.

But wait, you might be asking yourselves, didn't I already write a blog post about how I finished writing a novel. And you'd be correct. Back in 2014, I spent about six months or so writing a novel. Unfortunately it's been stuck in editor's limbo for two years. Editing is hard, especially when you want to change a good two thirds of the plot.

So what about this novel? Will it be edited, published, and become a best seller?

Even famous YouTube celebrates find time to write

I have no idea. I would love to become the next J. K. Rowling or Stephen King, but I don't have a crystal ball.

It takes a lot of hard work and even more luck to get traditionally published. To become a best seller takes even more luck and really good advertising.

Does that mean it's impossible and that I shouldn't even try?

No, if anything it means I should try even harder. I already do a lot of writing. Some of it is a hit, some of it is just left hanging in cyberspace (or somewhere on my hard drive). What's important is that I keep writing and working on improving my writing.

Do I have any advice for anyone who wants to be a writer?

Sure, just start writing. You might end up being a big hit. What matters is you and I are trying. We're learning. It might take some time, but at least you are enjoying yourself.

I know I am.

If you enjoyed this post (or it really pissed you off) please like, comment, and/or share. I love hearing from my readers and I hope you guys like hearing from me. Maybe someday we'll all be reading each others  work.

Until next week!

Welcome To Thinking Out Loud

Yesterday my mom visited to help me clean out some stuff from one of my closets. I cannot deny the fact that I am a bit of a pack rat. I have old notebooks from middle and highschool, not to mention all my college stuff. I admit, as a personal flaw, that I am sentimental about really stupid things and just won't throw them out because of how much I loved it when I was six.

However, my inability to get rid of junk is not the topic this week. While my mom was here, we went out to lunch for drinks (interpret that sentence how you will) and we bonded as we tend to do when out on the town. I started going off about one of the novels I'm writing. (Fine I admit it, I'm trying to be a writer, it won't be a reality until I actually finish a draft.)  Mom was asking me questions and as we talked I was further developing the plot(s). In essence this weeks post was her idea.

She is right, of course. I tend to do my best thinking when a) I'm pacing around my apartment, b) I am listening to music and/ or c) I'm talking out loud with someone about whatever I'm stuck on. This last method happens more often than not, when I'm angsting about something. I tend to just go off about my problems until there is a resolution or a new problem emergese. I'm sure many of you remember my cable rant(s).

The fact is, writing and talking almost go hand for me. I write to express my problems and come up with improbable, yet hilarious scenarios to solve them. I talk to express my problems and come up with practicle ways to solve my problems. It's also sometimes nice to just have someone as a so sympathetic sound board.

It's just another weird aspect of my personality.

If you enjoyed this post, please like, share or leave a comment. I love hearing from my readers and I hope you guys are enjoying my crazy life. It is certainly entertaining for me, once I stop freaking out. Until next week.