Welcome to Coming of Age

Before I begin this week's post, I just wanted to give everyone a heads up that I will be taking next week off from all of my writing projects (both blogs, webcomic, and other personal projects) as I will be going on a crazy adventure with my cousin. So I'll be dropping off the face of the Earth for a long weekend.

This past weekend I was invited to the Bat Mitzvah of a family friend's daughter. It was my first time going to a Bat Mitzvah and I thought it was a beautiful ceremony as well as a fun party. Our friends were extremely proud of their daughter and were thrilled to celebrate with family and friends.

A Bat Mitzvah is an important religious coming of age. Our friends' daughter had to attend Hebrew School and devote a lot of her free time to get ready for it. The closest I have ever experienced (and I don't feel it compares as much) was my confirmation. It was my religious coming of age in the church.

I think all kids both crave and fear adulthood. Adulthood is the freedom to do whatever you please (at least to a child it seems that way), but there are a lot of complicated feelings that come with growing up. There are many different religious and cultural events that indicate when a child has reached adulthood, but just because society deems someone an adult doesn't mean that that someone feels like one.

I know I sometimes still don't feel like an adult and I'm in my mid-twenties.

Someone please right a story based on this image...

Society has set the bar high when it comes to these events too. Shows like My Super Sweet 16 or the insane prom stories that pop up on Facebook in April and May have caused many teenagers to want big over-the-top parties and try to out do their friends. It can make a person envious.

Then there are the coming of age novels or movies that adults love to show teenagers. I remember having to watch Now and Then as well as Stand By Me when I was going through my confirmation classes and reading To Kill a Mockingbird  and House on Mango Street in school. These books and movies were meant to help us understand that there would be a point were you just couldn't be a child anymore. The loss of childhood innocence was inevitable.

What all of these stories, movies, and shows didn't mention was that coming of age wasn't necessarily one event in your life time.

Some days I look back and don't feel I ever went through a coming of age event. There wasn't one moment that I instantly knew I wasn't a kid anymore.

Don't get me wrong, there were a lot of moments where I lost that "childhood innocence" adults try to protect. But I didn't have that big adventure that spanned one amazing summer that was a popular narrative in these stories.

I think that's true for a lot of people, especially people my age.

We're stuck in a weird limbo where we still feel like kids and wish we didn't have to face the cold world of adulthood. Childhood was fun and carefree, even if our parents and teachers had final say on everything. Adulthood is a mess of never ending responsibilities, so many uncertainties, and mixed emotions.

Childhood was full of possibility. Adulthood just feels overwhelming.

However, I couple of weeks ago, I was at a guest lecture event for one of my writing groups. While the author was describing the book he had written (The Ferryman Institute by Colin Gigl), he said that it was sort of a coming of age story for adults and that anyone can go through a coming of age story no matter how old they are.

It was a message that I think I needed to hear.

There are a lot of different adventures that I can go on throughout my life and I can learn and grow during each of them. Coming of age stories aren't just for children becoming adults, they're for everyone.

I hope everyone has a fun Halloween. Get dressed up, eat a ton of candy, and act like a little kid. I have several costumes picked out for the next couple of days.

Until next time!

If you enjoyed this post (or it really pissed you off) please like, share, and/or leave a comment. I love hearing from my readers and I hope you guys like hearing from me.

Welcome to Rules are Rule are Rules

Spring has officially arrived! Yay! The sun is out longer. Its finally getting warm. And the news is filled with tons of stories about the biggest annual event that takes place this time of year.

I am of course talking about prom. (What were you guys thinking I meant?)

Between over the top "asked to prom" proposals to the never ending controversy over what is appropriate prom attire, I can't seem to escape the high school dance's drama in my news feed. Which is odd, considering my prom was notably uneventful. Oh it was fun, but drama free (at least from my perspective) and I can't remember anyone being turned away because they wore an inappropriate dress.

Heck I don't remember us even having a dress code at all for our prom.

Maybe I'm a glutton for punishment (or extremely susceptible to click bait), but for some reason I love clicking on these stories, skimming the article, and then rolling my eyes when I finally reach the comment section. Because you know what the most common type of comment is on anything regarding kids complaining about their dress code (or just how unfair life is in general)?

"Rules are rules."

I really hate this phrase. Even if I agree with the "rules" being discussed, as soon as I hear/see this argument my inner Mindy (the small Animaniacs* child who always almost kills her loyal "silly puppy", Buttons) surfaces.

Why? No, seriously why? Why are these rules the rules? What is the logic behind them? Why do they exist? Why do I have to follow them? Do they serve any purpose other than to annoy me?

If the answer to any of the above questions is along the lines of "because I said so" or "so as not to distract other people", I am liable to burst out laughing. Neither of these so called explanations have had any effect on me since I was six. They are inadequacy and only serve to annoy me further.

Now some people might respond with "well, that's life" or "tough cookies that's the answer". And again I might burst out laughing. Yeah life's not fair. I am well aware of this fact. Doesn't mean I have to take it lying down. As an adult, I can fight back against unfair rules or protest laws I don't like as much as I want. Why shouldn't we expect kids to as well?

See that's the funny thing about rules (and laws) in general. There doesn't need to be anything fair about them. The sole purpose of rules is to maintain some form of order. We as a society need order to properly function (at least that's what I've heard, I don't know whether it's true or not). Thus we have rules.

In theory, rules should make some sort of logical sense. Why can't I go in the construction zone without a helmet on? Because I might get hurt from a falling object. Why do I need to keep the walkway clear on the train? So that people can easily move around in case of an emergency.

However, like many things, rules don't always age well. Society changes and things progress, but our rules don't. The advent of the Internet has certainly been an interesting example of this phenomena (pretty much on steroids). Our rules and laws aren't keeping up with how quickly the Internet is evolving. Remember Napster back in the early 2000s?

If rules don't make sense or feel outdated, then they should be challenged and changed. There used to be a law in the state of Virginia that bathtubs were forbidden inside the house. In modern times this seems like a silly law, but I'm sure at some point in the state's history it made logical sense. The rule/law needed to change to how bathing was treated by society.

Without rules, we would have chaos and anarchy. Now I much prefer order to chaos (this is just a personal preference), but I can't deny the fact that order can get a little dull at times. Throwing in a little chaos challenges order and can even help to improve it. Too much, however, can cause serious damage.  It's a delicate balancing act. Then there are the people who just want to watch the world burn. Though they too might have a point, it could cause all of humanity to go extinct.

So about that dress code thing. I honestly think most dress codes need to be updated and changed. Fashion is always changing and evolving. Women can wear pants now (believe it or not my university didn't always allow women to wear pants on campus). We no longer have people measuring how long swim suits are at the beach. It is, gasp, okay to show an ankle or two. And it is perfectly acceptable to wear socks with your sandals (I will be laughing at you, but it's not against any rules).

To tell kids to not challenge rules (outdated or otherwise) is a disservice to them. Kids and adults should always question authority figures and the rules they make. Rules can be made that give an advantage to a group of players while causing massive disadvantages to another, more vulnerable group. They should be challenged and removed. Challenging authority and the rules they make is an important part of what makes America great. After all, if the founding father's hadn't challenged the rule of Great Britain, the US might not be the crazy independent country it is now.

As David Bowie once sang (may he rest in peace): "And these children that you spit on as they try to change their worlds are immune to your consultations. They're quite aware of what they're going through."

So the next time you see or hear people protesting rules they think should be changed, don't tell them they should just live with what the powers at be decide. Listen to them, they probably have something important to say.

Unless they want to disenfranchise someone, then you have my permission to laugh in their faces.

If you enjoyed this post (or it really pissed you off) please like, share, and/or leave a comment. I love hearing from my readers and I hope you guys like hearing from me. Now, I'm off to go protest bathtubs being inside houses in Virginia. Clearly they should be back outside with nature.

Until next week.

*If you guys didn't know, Animaniacs  is on Netflix. I have been enjoying rewatching this show. I think some of it has gotten better with age.