Welcome To A Neighborhood Cafe

My roommate (who is awesome) works at a cafe in the town of Nutley New Jersey. It's about a half an hour drive from our apartment. I try to go on the weekends she is working.

It's a small, family run place. They make all of their food and have some of the best gelato I've ever tasted. I usually go for a cappuccino and gelato and to do some writing. My roommate occasionally is able to eat lunch with me. I usually go after the lunch rush, to avoid a crowd.

Most of the people who go to the cafe are regulars. They are also, including the owner, mostly Italian. They speak Italian at the cafe, have Italian news papers, and serve all Italian food (which is delicious). A mix of Italian and English are spoken and sports are always on the TVs.

Now that the summer is almost over, it's starting to get a bit busier with everyone back from vacation. The town of Nutley isn't what I'd call a tourist town. It's more of a tight-nit community, where almost everyone knows everyone else. At least that's what I've seen of the area. My roommate feels the same way. Most of the people who go to the cafe, have been doing so for years and know the owner.

It's a lot of fun to go for a lazy weekend afternoon. Everyone is greeted with a big "hello" and friendly atmosphere.

While I was there today, I started talking with two of the regulars. They were gentlemen in their late 50s or early 60s (I'm basing this off of the conversation). One of them had been in a band for over 40 years. He said his band had gotten together in 1969 and stayed together until the late 80s, early 90s. They played for weddings, festivals and did a few openings at concerts. He said that, at one point in his career as a musician, his band had been ranked the top Italian American band in the New York/New Jersey area. People would book his band two years in advanced, they were that popular.

And this was just his hobby. He had also worked full time as a manager at a company. Some how he managed to balance his hobby and work life. He said it took a lot of time and dedication, but it was worth it.

I hope to someday be able to do that. Maybe I'll be able to balance writing novels with a full time job. I just wouldn't have a social life.

Hearing about the experiences of these gentleman, though, made me miss my grandparents. I used to love hearing their stories about growing up where they did or adventures they went on. One of my grandmothers drove across the United States in a Model T (or maybe it was a Model A) with her grandparents. I wish I had been able to ask her about it (though I hear she her passengers weren't the most pleasant to travel with). Unfortunately I can't hear those stories first hand, but that doesn't mean I can't hear about other people's adventures.

There are a few people I know who love to read the obituary section of the newspaper. It's not because they are morbidly curious to see whose died recently, but because some of the things that are written about the people are just so amazing. Sometimes I wish I could get a copy of the person's biography. I hope it's a long way off, but I hope to leave behind one awesome obituary. 

Until next week.

If you enjoyed this post, or it really pissed you off, please like, share, or leave a comment. I love hearing from my readers and I hope you guys like hearing from me. Now, off to live my great adventure.

Welcome To The "What If Loop"

Or Why Being A "New" Adult Is Stressful

I like security and familiarity. It's probably why I have such a hard time getting rid of silly things like pictures or all of my books. I feel at home with them. Unfortunately this past year hasn't been the kindest to my sense of stability and familiarity.

Sure, I have a stable job and income, but I just moved several states away from all my friends and family. My roommate is great, but we've only known each other for a few months. Sure, I have my own room, but I sometimes still feel like I'm invading someone's space. It's a new experience that I don't have a reference point for. It makes me nervous and occasionally more paranoid than usual.

Then there is my questioning. Some days I worry that I'm going to wake up and find out I made this whole trip of to New Jersey up and that I don't actually work here. So far this fear hasn't become too irrational, but it's always in the back of my mind (variations of this include being fired, ending up in the emergency room for insert physical malady here, and insert horrible natural disaster here).

This leads to my "what if loop." What is a that? Basically it's how I think of my anxiety. When I'm really anxious, all I can think about it what if x, y, or z happens. Heck, sometimes I think in term of what if a, b, c or d didn't actually happen and instead I made them up (this happens a lot when I'm dating someone). 

These thought patterns used to not be that bad. They usually followed along the lines of "what if I don't pass this test" or "what if I forget my lunch at home." Sure it was hard to concentrate thinking like that and I tended to make them seem bigger than they really were, but they weren't all that life changing. Now, though, there's a lot more that can change. I don't feel that I have the same safety nets I did in college. These are the worse when I can't fall asleep or am so worked up that I can't stop talking in a loop.

Okay, yeah, everyone is a phone call/text message/ skype call/email away, but it isn't the same as seeing them in person. There are days where I wish I didn't worry all the time (then again, I sometimes wonder if I'd be happy if I didn't worry about something).

The trick is trying to stay calm and just go with what ever is happening. I have to remind myself that I can't control everything and that I need to calm down enough to make a critical decision.

How do I calm myself down? I think there's already a blog post about that (Welcome to Self Reflection should be it), but in a nut shell, Yoga, meditation and writing help out a lot. My focus doesn't even need to be on my problem while I'm doing any of those activities. I am able to let it all out and feel mentally prepared for my next step.

Which could always lead me right off a cliff if I'm not paying attention. It's a delicate balance.

Until next week.

If you enjoyed this post (or it really pissed you off), please, like, share, or leave a comment. I love hearing from my readers and I hope you guys like hearing from me. Now to go figure out this life stuff.

Welcome to the Bargain Hunt

It's Labor Day weekend. That means sales, sales and, oh, did we meantion it's the unofficial last weekend of summer? Except we're too busy trying to sell you back to school stuff. Like at most holidays, ads are everywhere and it's tempting to go out and buy an entire new closeted things you don't need.

For that matter, how does someone go shopping and not break the bank?

Well I'm pretty notorious for only spending money when I have to, but when I do need to buy things (like food, always food). I have a few rules that I try to follow.

Budget, budget, budget - just because something is on sale, doesn't mean I should automatically buy it. First I have to like it and second I have to make sure it fits in my budget. Ifi know I'm nearing my limit and it's not a necessity, then it can wait.

Coupons are my best friend - signing up for groupon, and online coupons for favorite stores or websites. 

Take advantage of seasonal sales - sometimes things go for as high as 75% off.

Goodwill and other second hand stores - I love these places. You never know what people are going to give away. One of my favorite second hand stores for video games and books is 2nd and Charles. I took my dad there for the first time and he couldn't believe how inexpensive the books and DVDs were. (Though I will always first recommend going to a library to get books).

Buy good quality - sure it's expensive, but it'll last longer. If you can't afford it right this second, save up for it. Good quality items will prevent you from having to replace things every couple of months / years.

Shopping for cloths, food and other necessities is an expensive activity. Careful planning and some good luck are always needed. I have a long list of things I need for work, hopefully I'll find some of them tomorrow.

If you enjoyed this post (or it really pissed you off), please like share, or leave a comment. I love hearing from my readers and I hope you guys like hearing from me. Until next week.

Welcome To Being Local

Being a local of a so called "Village" is not the same as what's seen on TV. It's not really a small town because all of the towns up this way pretty much merge into one another. People also come and go a lot.

What is nice is having a lot of things to do. There are a lot of shops and restaurants (that are also always coming and going, but hey at least there's variety). Plenty of community events like every other Wednesday in the summer they were showing movies in the town square. I can easily walk to the library and what I think is a community pool (I haven't confirmed that).

For the most part, I'm only social when I need to be. I go to the gym 2-4 times a week and talk to other people in my classes. My roommate has me going to the cafe she works at on the weekends. I also sometimes go out to eat.

Now, eating at a restaurant by yourself is a little intimidating. I say intimidating instead of other adjectives because I like eating by myself. I like not having to cook and getting out of the apartment. It can be a little intimidating because it's just you by yourself surrounded by other people who are with other people. Often I am the only person going solo to the restaurant. This is why, most often than now, I end up at the local bar. I feel it's less awkward.

Having a local bar isn't really like how it's portrayed on TV. It's not even where people really know your name. There always seems to be someone new when I go to the bar. Hell the only people who I know are consistently there are the bar tenders. Who knows, maybe they are judging me for going every other weekend by myself to a bar. At least I get to watch sports (still don't have cable).

You also never know who you might meet at the bar. I've had conversations range from how the new Suicide Squad movie looks to debating the finer points of the art of pizza making. I might go to the bar because I have nothing better to do with my life (plus happy hour), but I stay because I'm having fun. Hopefully I'm not making too much of a fool of myself.

Heck just this past weekend, I got into a conversation with a group of people at the bar. One of them gave me an apple to "keep the doctor away". I'm not sure how drunk this person was (though believe me, he had been long before I showed up), but he was certainly interesting to talk to.

If being a local means you've lived in the area for 5+ years, then I haven't accomplished that yet, but I am very familiar with the town. I walk to and from the gym without worrying too much. Sometimes I even recognize people and say hello. Well, I've been around long enough to see business open and then turn around at the end of the season and close. I'm a resident of this town, I feel like a local.

It might not be the towns shown on TV, but it is home.

Until next week.

If you enjoyed this post (or it really pissed you off) please like, share, or leave a comment. I like hearing from my readers and I hope you guys like hearing from me. Let me know if you guys ever have a topic you'd like me to write about.

Welcome to a Language Barrier

Because why only know one language?

Americans seem to be stereotyped as a people who only speak one language, American English. I wouldn't say that's an accurate stereotype for the Americans living along the Eastern sea board (or at least northern New Jersey, Maryland, Virginia and New York). There are a lot of different people and cultures.

My roommate is Brazillian. She speaks Portugese and English (and I think she also knows Spanish). A lot of her friends are also Brazillian and though they also speak English, their friends and family who come to visit don't. This can lead to difficult conversations.

Today, I went to visit my roommate, who has been working at an Itallian cafe (it's a neighborhood cafe in Nutly New Jersey). A friend of her's was also at the cafe with her family visiting from Brazil. Everything that we said to each other had to be translated. I really wanted to be able to communicate with them, but I didn't know enough. I even accidentally said "good morning" instead of "good afternoon". 

My roommate's family is coming to visit and I don't want to sit there awkwardly while they're staying here. Therefore I've decided to learn Portugese. 

It's not the most difficult language I've tried to learn and thankfully I have a background in Spanish that helps a little bit. That doesn't mean Portugese the same as Spanish. I'm already noticing a lot of differences between the words. It does mean that the sentence structure is familiar and I can figure out a lot of the vocabulary with context clues. It's easier than learning Japanese (and some of my family members have been trying to teach me Japanese since I was young). 

I've been studying Portueges by using an app call Duelingo and listening to my roommate and her friends speak. So far, I can understand a little bit, but whenever I go to say something, I almost always end up saying something in Spanish. 

But I can't give up. If I want to be able to master a new skill, I have to keep practicing. 

Until next week.

If you enjoyed this post or it really pissed you off, please like, share or leave a comment. I like hearing from my readers and I hope you guys like hearing from me. Now, back to the studying.

Welcome To Creativity

I recently read an article that said reading 30 minutes a day (or was it a week?) will help boost creativity. I wonder if they were only talking about books or just reading in general (you know, news stories, comic books, ingredient's labels...etc).

I read a lot. Fiction, mysteries, manga, biography, fanfiction are just a few of the many things I read on a regular basis. Sometimes I'm reading to learn something new. I recently got a copy of Jimmy Carter's autobiography (which he signed 😄) and have really enjoyed hearing about where he grew up and his live before he was president. Other times I'm off in a fantasy world, possibly fighting dragons with alien parasites. Thank you "Song of Fire and Ice" books (Game of Thrones) by George R. R. Martin for those crazy dreams.

Reading is a big influence on my life (even if it did take me a long time to start). Harry Potter is a huge part of my life and I'll never forget the first time I picked up an Astrix comic book. Reading has helped me imagin undiscovered worlds and dream up situations I wouldn't have before.

Maybe that's why I write so much. A lot of my writing is based on my dreams and even my nightmares. When I'm bored I'll think up new places to explore or monsters to fight. Hey everyone has at some point dreamed of being the hero...right?

And creativity isn't just about writing or drawing comics. It's also creating music, making cloths, knitting, designing buildings, solving math equations (yes, math requires creativity, lots and lots of creativity) and solving problems that aren't intuitive (like when you're toilet explodes for no reason or there's a BBQ and no one remembered a spatula).

Since this is the age of the Internet, it has become easier for people to share their creativity with others. Some great sites to post work (or see other people's work) are listed below. I personally use a few of them (user name will not be given) and have so far had a positive experience.

From YouTube to FanFiction (you know the place "Fifty Shades Of Grey" became famous), there are plenty of places where a person can post their creative work. For the movie makers there's Vimeo, YouTube and Facebook (how's that working out by the way?), for the writer there's FanFaction, her sister site for original content FictionPress, and many blog hosting sites. There's DeviantArt, Pintrist, and Tumblr for artists. ComicFury, The Duck and more for inspiring comic book and manga creators. Heck social media is a great place to share creative work (one of the many reasons this blog is shared on Facebook).

It might be true that reading 30 minutes a week helps with creativity, but there are other things that inspire creativity. I find that taking walks is very helpful to the creative process. It's not a "one size fits all" approach. And thank the higher powers for the Internet. There might be a lot of strange and random things floating on the web, but there are a few gems too.

After all if "Fifty Shades of Grey" started on the Internet, then the next " Game of Thrones" might be floating around somewhere on here too.

If you enjoyed this post (or it really pissed you off), please like, share or leave a comment. I love hearing from my readers and I hope you guys like hearing from me. Until next week.

Welcome To Family On The Go

Guess what everyone! I've hit my two year anniversary since starting this blog. What does that have to do with this post and why was it that I didn't update last week? Well, it has to do with all the changes I've recently been going through.

Between the end of March and the beginning of May, every single person in my immediate family moved. I'm not kidding. We all went from being in one central geographic location, to stretched all along the north east. I was the last to officially move (see any blog post in March, April or May to hear my whining thoughts on that). It's been tough being far away from my original support system and its even harder trying to build a new one.

With my current job, I have a grand total of 15 personal days (not including sick leave). This is a luxgery for someone's first job right out of college (personally I thank the fact that I work for a French company for this much time). However, I was used to the college schedule of having a month off between first and second semester and then three months off in the summer for vacation. It's true that I used a lot of that "free time" to work jobs and internships, but I was always able to travel if I wanted to. Now I have to squish all of that time into 15 days.

It makes you look at your priorities a little more closely.

Do I take that adventure in Hawaii or visit my mom in Michigan? Should I go visit my cousins in North Carolina or my family in California? When was the last time I saw my family in Arizona? Should I really take that long weekend in October or save up for the holidays?

For my summer vacation time this year, I decided to visit one of my favorite childhood places with my mom's family. This required a two hour plane ride and then a nine hour car ride. It was worth it. Though it was strange to have TV for the first time, we still didn't have Internet.

It was calm and it was relaxing, but because I spent so much time in Northern Michigan, I wasn't able to see all of the people I wanted to in the Detroit area. I also felt a bit rushed at times to get everything done.

Today I'm heading out to visit my family in Pennsylvania. I'm a lot closer (geographically) to them now, so it's not as big of a trip. I'm excited to catch up in person as Facebook only tells you so much.

It seems like I'm doing a lot more traveling since moving to New Jersey and all of it to see family. This isn't a bad thing. I love visiting my family. I have their backs (even when I don't agree with them) and hopefully most of them have mine (when we're not driving each other crazy).

It's a tough balance and I'm still not sure how to do it aall. It requires a hard look at what you value doing, who you value seeing, timing and how much everything will cost (hey I'm still just starting out and have to budget everything).

Until next week.

If you enjoyed this post or it really pissed you off, please like, share and/or leave a comment. I love hearing from my readers and I hope you guys like hearing from me. If ever you guys have questions or have a topic you'd like me to write about, let me know.