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Showing posts with label COVID. Show all posts
Showing posts with label COVID. Show all posts

Sunday, January 23, 2022

Welcome to What Plans

Planning and being on top of a schedule has become a key part adulthood - for work and my personal life. If I want to see a friend or go out of town,  I need to plan for it and make sure that everyone's schedule is clear and that I can take time away from work. 

I sometimes have to plan brunch or a coffee trip months in advance to make sure I'll be able to see a specific person. It's not like high school or college when you could text someone "you free?" and then head over to Wawa. 

Having a plan is super important, but having flexibility is equally key to not going crazy. Especially when your plan is so far off the rails, it's not clear which direction you're headed in anymore. 

My motto since 2019 has been to "roll with it".

I have a preference to plan out my year well in advance. I like to know when I'm taking a trip or going on one of my mini-adventures not too far from home. I even like planning when I go on one of my cleaning sprees. I once planned an entire trip to Disney World with spreadsheets detailing where and when we had to be somewhere. I made sure to build in "spontaneous time" (though is it really spontaneous if you plan for it?).

However, even my best laid plans have blown up in my face.

No one expected the pandemic shutting everything down in March 2020. It seriously upended my life (along with most people's lives). 

At the start of the pandemic, I thought I had some security. But security is a luxury if I've ever known one.  

Despite my good fortune landing a full time job, I'm still a little on edge. I thought that my last job few jobs would be long term, but two layoffs have taught me that few things are truly long term. I've started wondering if I am just living for the next set back or (worse) disaster. 

That's not a healthy way to think. It's kept me anxious and on edge - unable to relax when I really need to.

We've started seeing some hope. With the introduction of the vaccine, things began to open back up and people felt safer. That was until Delta and then Omicron showed up to shut everything down again. Though it feels never ending, the patterns we're seeing with COVID are similar to what happened with the Spanish Flu. 

However, what might happen after COVID? Could there be another pandemic? What about what's going on with the economy? There's already reports that a recession is likely to show up within the next four years. How will that affect my life?

I can't answer these questions. I can't plan around them.

I can only hope that I'm prepared to "roll with it" again.

I know this post isn't the happiest or most optimistic, but sometimes writing out the things that bother us helps us work through them. I wish I had a crystal ball that would let me know everything would work itself out, but I don't. 

I just have to take things one day at a time.

Until next week.

If you enjoyed this post (or it really pissed you off) please like, share, and/or leave a comment. I love hearing from my readers and I hope my readers like hearing from me.

Sunday, August 29, 2021

Welcome to Feeling like an Adult

 As we approach September, my anxiety is rising again. For the past few months, I’ve been a contractor. It’s a good position with awesome work. My contract ends the first week of November.

There is the possibility that the organization that I’ve been working for will make me a full time member of their staff, but nothing is guaranteed and after the past two years I’ve had regarding my employment status (or lack there of), I don’t want to get my hopes too high.

When I think back on my 20s, I realize what an ideal time it was in my life. I had stable employment, a great friend group, opportunity to travel and have fun, and a good support system. In my mind’s eye, the problems from my poor mental health are smoothed over in favor of memories of going to Broadway plays and trips to the farmers market. My homesickness replaced by laughter from my writer’s group and nights clubbing in Hoboken (as infrequent as they were).

I almost want to go back in time and give my younger self a pep talk. Enjoy this time, take a few more risks. I’d want that version of me to enjoy that life because COVID-19 is just around the corner - lurking like a vampire just beyond the streetlight’s rays - to upend everything.

Things haven’t all been bad, but I can tell how restless I am - how listless I’ve become. I’ve struggled to writer and create art. I’ve had to take on even more responsibilities (though I wouldn’t trade my grumpy fur baby for anything).

She’s sweet, but also has teeth!

For once in my life I actually feel like an adult, not an awkwardly old teenager pretending to be one.

Soon, this period of transition will end. And my mind will find something else to overthink. I’ve started looking at apartments in different areas and I want to cry over how expensive they all are. 

Sometimes I think life in general is just one long period of transition - though between what I haven’t a clue. It’s not life or death though. That answer doesn’t feel right.

Meditation and yoga can help me find some form of stillness that goes against the natural chaotic momentum that shapes our world. Time never stops moving forward, even when a clock does. The Earth will keep changing regardless of human activity. 

We live, we change, we go to the next life.

It makes for a great story though.

If you enjoyed this blog post (or it really pissed you off) please like, share, and/or leave a comment. I love hearing from my readers and I hope y’all like hearing from me.

Until next week*.

*next week is Labor Day, so maybe the week after that.

Sunday, June 13, 2021

Welcome to Two Weeks After the Vaccine

 Roughly two weeks ago, I got my second COVID-19 vaccine shot. Life already feels a little less stressful. 

For those of you who don't know. I'm terrible when it comes to shots (well needles piercing my skin in general...I have a terrible history giving blood too). It's not that they hurt or anything. I can handle a prick of pain. It's that something is going into or coming out of my body that freaks me out.

Thankfully the people administering the vaccine did a wonderful job, listened to me, and took what I had to say seriously. They made sure that I couldn't watch at all while they injected me - though I did find the spring return for the needle really cool.

The experience was fantastic - better than I expected. There were volunteers available to direct people and answer questions. Everyone was nice and smiling. We did have the National Guard out directing traffic at the location I went to - which worried me about any trouble that might happen - but over all I felt safe and welcomed.

There was even a baby Yoda happily thanking everyone for getting the vaccine.

My side affects were minimal. Other than my arm aching for a couple of days and being a little sleepier than normal, I was fine. Other members of my family experienced chills, trouble sleeping, and flu like symptoms, but they weren't as bad as actually getting COVID.

Now that it's been two weeks and I'm "fully covered", I feel like a huge burden has been lifted off my shoulders. I'm still wearing a mask around other people and when I go into buildings, but I no longer worry that every interaction might cause me to get sick.

This week was the first time I started using the gym and pool at my apartment complex. Prior to getting the vaccine, I didn't even feel safe going to these locations. Very few people are at these places and I'm still weary of going somewhere with a large crowd, but I'm getting out of my apartment. I even feel comfortable enough to get into an elevator with other people.

No the vaccine hasn't turned me into an X-man (not that I would complain if it did). I've seen those hilarious videos of people claiming keys and other metal objects are sticking to them and I can't help but roll my eyes. If anything these claims might encourage the younger and more adventurous of us to get the vaccine.

Tis a shame. I was looking forward to having spare change fly at me in all directions.

I encourage everyone who is eligible to get the COVID vaccine as soon as possible. Yes, there are side affects. Yes, getting a shot sucks. 

But getting COVID is so much worse.

Seeing someone you love suffer from COVID is the last thing anyone should experience. 

So, make an appointment. The shot is free. 

Until next week. 

If you enjoyed this post (or it really pissed you off) please like, share, and/or leave a comment. I love hearing from my readers and I hope y'all like hearing from me.


Sunday, December 6, 2020

Welcome to Ghost Sightings

Ghosts are real. 

They exist at the edges of our minds to help us deal with the reality that one day we will die and no longer exist as we do right now. We might go our whole lives without ever seeing a ghost, but that doesn't mean we aren't followed by them.

I've never seen a ghost. I probably never will. But I know they're there to keep histories and memories alive for just a little longer.

About a month ago, I wrote a blog post about how ghost stories (at least the best ones) are rarely about the ghosts. You can read that blog post by clicking this link


That post primarily focuses on fictional stories and the ones that get passed down from generation to generation as a way to preserve culture or history. It wasn’t my first post on ghosts, nor was it the first time I brought up the fact that ghost stories are a good measure to discover what a culture values. This post will likely not be the last either.

Today I was feeling under the weather. Thankfully nothing COVID related (at least I haven’t heard of a crumbly stomach being associated with the virus). I ended up spending most of the morning under a pile of blankets with a cat curled up next to me and Unsolved Mysteries on in the background. I came back to full awareness when the episode playing was entirely in Japanese.

The episode in question was on the aftermath of the 3.11.2011 earthquake and tsunami. At first I was a bit confused as to why this was on Unsolved Mysteries as I hadn’t heard of anything unusual happening after the tragedy. Then ghosts were mentioned and things began to fall into place.

The episode wasn’t about a murder or disappearance that occurred in conjunction to the day, but about the trauma that happened to the people after over 15,000 were swept away by a wall of water. People began to see ghosts.

I don’t think this is all that unusual after such a horrific disaster. Though the episode does mention that ghost sightings are a rare occurrence in Japan after incidents of mass death (natural or man made), there is a cultural explanation for why this region of Japan had a high number of ghost sightings in the months and years after 3.11 (as the day has become known as).

Mass death isn’t normal. Sudden mass death is traumatic and leaves a gaping impression like a bullet hole.

The amount of death going on right now because of the pandemic feels so much worse. It's like a stab wound that hasn't closed properly and became infected. It'll likely leave a massive scar, if the wound ever heals.

I’ve been lucky. I haven’t seen the mobile morgues. My family has managed to avoid the worst of COVID. I’m still incredibly stressed by the situation.

We’ve seen how humans of the past dealt with pandemics and it was filled with images of death. The great plague that ravaged Asia and Europe in the Middle Ages left us with tons of paintings which featured dancing skeletons and iconography we still closely associate with death. The Dance of the Macabre is familiar enough to most modern people - even if they aren’t aware of its exact origin.

That particular disease really did look like something out of a zombie movie. COVID doesn’t have the tell tale disfiguration or gross puss filled boils like Bubonic or one of its similar plague buddies has. It’s not flashy and easily hidden away from the public eye. 

But the stress and trauma is all around us. I do wonder how our modern world will deal with it.

In the mid-2000s there was a huge uptick in paranormal investigative shows. I won’t deny that I enjoyed them back then. Although, now I much prefer seeing the story unfold rather than watch 40 of people wander around in the dark and then spend 10 minutes trying to tell me that there was a “ghost” on a recording. I like to think I’ve matured in taste since then, but it’s unlikely.

I’m not saying that the trauma of 9/11 was the reason for this sudden splash of TV shlock, but the timing is there. Kind of like how it wasn’t necessarily the counter culture of the 60s and 70s that led to the satanic panic of the 80s and 90s. 

But after traumatic events, we as humans seem to be drawn to what comes after life. Many times the trauma takes the form of ghosts.

I think there’s a reason Gettysburg is known for its battlefields and ghosts more than any other US city. The town and surrounding area was bombarded for three hot days in July. It’s the bloodiest battle to take place on US soil. And the town is filled with ghost stories about those three horrific days.

Will COVID correlate to another surge in live action ghost shows? Will we get more shows or movies like The Haunting of Hill House or Bly Manor

If anything, I do hope that the pandemic brings the end of the zombie. For years zombies were equated to disease and that we could fight our way out of it. Nothing remotely like the zombie apocalypse has happened. Please creative types, make zombies go away.

I’m still feeling a little queasy. The only other time I’ve felt like this and didn’t actually get sick was when I had a horribly stressful month at work while I was still new to my career. I couldn’t eat for a couple weeks. COVID has wrecked my nerves in a similar way - don’t know why this was the week for my body to freak out.

I have never seen a ghost - though I wouldn’t mind the experience. I think it’s important to understand that ghosts are very real. Whether or not seeing them is a response to trauma or a suggestion of the mind to rationalize the unknown or they are in fact real is up to you the individual. Right now my body is physically responding to the stress of the pandemic. Years from now, my mind might process the trauma differently.

And boy has my generation lived through a lot of traumatic events. 

If you enjoyed this post or it really (pissed you off), please like, share, and/or leave a comment. I love hearing from my readers and I hope y’all like hearing from me.

Stay safe everyone.

Sunday, November 15, 2020

Welcome to the Holiday Season with COVID

 Thanksgiving is less than two weeks away. Despite my stubborn vow to never travel during Thanksgiving after a disastrous incident with my flights in 2014, I often find myself scrambling to make travel arrangements for the winter holidays. 

I hate am not very fond of it.

Maybe I'll find some flying reindeer to help me out.

Don't get me wrong. I love traveling and have no problem getting on a plane, train, or bus any other time of year. It's just the period between mid-November and the first weekend in January that sets my teeth on edge. 

And if I am going to travel, I'm going to do my best to make sure its by car. I have a lot more freedom that way.

This year has really thrown a wrench in my usual holiday plans. COVID is no joke and there has been a serious uptick in cases in recent weeks. Though I understand that my risk of having complications - if I catch the disease - are minimal, that doesn't mean I don't worry. Especially because I do check in on people who could be devastated by COVID.

Though I have really wanted to, I haven't gotten on a plane since February (for a work trip) and I don't plan on getting on a plane any time soon (unless there's an unavoidable work trip). There are so many places (mainly Maine and Arizona to visit my cousins) that I have wanted to go to. I'm going crazy being stuck in Northern Virginia, even if there are a lot of things to do. I'm a wanderer. I need to wander.

Already airlines are starting to see an uptick in travel plans, though not nearly to the point they would be any other year. People have been away from home and their families for a long time. The time between Thanksgiving and New Years is a major family gathering time in the United States. There's even a Christmas Song dedicated to this annual migration ("Oh There's No Place Like Home For the Holidays").

If you can, stay home this year. Plan a small(er) celebration. Create some new traditions. Maybe have a celebration on Zoom or Skype. 

If you can't...please stay as safe as you can. Most hotels are doing a fantastic job social distancing and cleaning. Restaurants in my area are fanatical about cleanliness and mask wearing. 

And I'm not saying that you shouldn't visit or welcome family who want to see you. Two of my aunts just came down from Michigan to visit me and we had a lovely time. Before they came, they made sure they didn't have COVID and took a lot of precautions while driving down. They didn't fly.

Telling you guys not to travel would be hypocritical of me (especially since I've already mentioned that I was in a wedding about a month ago).

COVID is serious. The unrest in some major cities over the results of the election are serious. Your mental health and wellbeing are serious.

Any travel you plan, plan it carefully and safely. Wear masks, carry hand sanitizer, travel by car instead of plane or train, and pack lots of snacks. Your family will want to see you next year and the year after that too.

Happy Start of the Holidays everyone!

If you enjoyed this post (or it really pissed you off) please like, share, and/or leave a comment. I love hearing from my readers and I hope y'all like hearing from me.

Until next week.