Welcome to the Child Effect

The Child Effect: when older adults in your life still treat you as though you are 12 years old instead of the 20 something you actually are.

When does this happen? Oddly enough, it hasn't happened all that often to me. Most of the people whom I gre up around and are adults treat me as an adult. When it does happen, my response is usually along the lines of: wait, why am I being talked to like I'm not capable of making informed decisions on this subject?

As I have gained more experience, I have come to the realization that some people will only see me as an irrisopnsible 7 year old, or a not it all 14 year old, etc.. Depending on the situation it can be incredibly insulting. There are also the times it can be hilarious (such as being mistaken for a 12 year old at Disney World, but I digress).

What can someone do in these situations?

Well I usually have to start by reminding myself that I am in fact an adult. This is important because I  have questioned my ability to be an adult. It also prevents any off the handle responses that might negate any arguements I will attempt to make.

In the perfect world, my next step is to remind the other person of this fact. Hopefully with more tact and not in a defensive tone.

If communication is an issue, I try to leave the situation to calm down. Calm feelings help to create a more rational argument. I try not to fly off the handle (though it's been known to happen).

If the person I am having a problem with still does not understand my point of view, I try to be as mature as possible. I say "I'm sorry you feel this way, but I do not like how I am being treated." I then leave.

If the message is still not getting through (which if the person knows you it should have by this point) and the older person starts getting nasty, it's still not worth it to fall for their antics. Being polite is important.

Yeah I know, it sucks and at this point I'm pretty angry. The trick is to figure out how to leave the situation as gracefully as possible. Even still, it can be painful and a friendship might be lost. It's probably for the best.

Until next week.

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