Welcome to the Quiet Reflection During Hard Times

 This week I was unfortunately laid off...again. 

It's a tough position to be in, especially now. I'm anxious and a bit scared, but I am thankful that I have a wonderful support system who are willing to help me through this. There are many other people in a similar position as myself who can't say that.

It sucks that this happened twice. It sucks that this time I'm facing the added hurdle that is a pandemic. It all around sucks.

As I am not a person who takes idleness well, I have already hit the ground running taking care of updating my resume, job hunting, and all the applications I need to put in now that my work status has changed. At least this time I know more of what I need to and should do.

My knowledge doesn't make the situation any easier. And it's also not just me this time - I have my evil fluffy kitty Karma to worry about.

My list of things I need to do is long and overwhelming. Just thinking about it leaves me wishing to curl up into a tiny ball under a blanket fort and pretend I'm six instead of an adult. But I'm getting them done one item at a time.

Worrying won't fix my situation, but I also can't be constantly working to "fix" it. I'll burn out or turn into a messy pile of shaky bones if I don't take a break every once in a while.

Last night, I needed to take some time to center myself. I grabbed my watercolors, paint brushes, and some washi tape. I cut one of my special art papers into six Polaroid shaped rectangles. Then, I started to paint.

I don't always know what I'm going to create when I put pencil or brush to paper. Sometimes I get inspiration from the colors I pick, other times its an image I've seen that I want to try to recreate. Last night it was a piece of music going through my head. It's a calm song called "The Sixth Station" by Joe Hisaishi and plays at the start of the final third of the movie Spirited Away.

Though not perfect, I am very happy how it turned out

The calming music gave me inspiration. I hummed along with it as I did my best to bring the images in my mind to life on paper. I bobbed and I swayed and I left my mind picture the beautiful image of Chihiro walking along the train tracks covered in water to catch a train.

I love the movie Spirited Away. Chihiro's character grows a lot during the story. There are a lot of unique characters and intense action scenes. Some moments are silly and the animation is wild. But then there are the times when the film is quiet, contemplative. One of those moments is when "The Sixth Station" plays. 

Chihiro is on her way to visit the witch Zeniba - twin sister to the witch, Yubaba, who runs the bathhouse and turned Chihiro's parents into pigs. The scene is beautiful, quiet, and a little melancholic. Chihiro has no idea if Yubaba is going to eat her parents or not. She's worried and scared for her friend Haku. 

However, Chihiro has grown so much since the start of her adventure and this quiet moment is a reflection on all the hard work she's done. There's a chance things may go wrong, but there's an even bigger chance they'll go right.

And [SPOILERS] things go right for Chihiro. She finds a wonderful ally with Zeniba who gives her the courage and wisdom to overcome her last challenge. 

Through all my trials and tribulations over the last two years, I hope that I'm (metaphorically) on my way to visit Zeniba. Yes, there's still a lot of hard work to do. Zeniba puts Chihiro's friends to work, while she sits and thinks on everything she's learned. Chihiro pulls through and I know I will too.

Being laid off is the worst. It's an emotional roller coaster and it's very easy to be left doubting oneself. Taking a quiet moment to reflect or do something that will help relax away the tension is just as important as doing that hard work. 

Muscles tense? Take a hot bubble bath and give yourself a bubble mustache and beard. Mind going a million miles a minute? Take a walk or do a breathing exercise (especially if you find meditating hard).  Find a moment for yourself.

If you enjoyed this post (or it really pissed you off) please like, share, and/or leave a comment. I love hearing from my readers and I hope y'all like hearing from me.

Until next week.