Welcome to the Speed of Time

Do you guys remember a time when it felt like the school year would never end? Or when summer vacation seemed to last forever and a day? Does it sometimes feel time is now slipping away faster and faster than it did a decade ago?

Apparently this weird shift in how we perceive time isn't unusual as we age. Scientists seem to think its because our brains prioritizes new memories rather than familiar ones, which makes it seem like our childhood lasted a lot longer than a decade as an adult does.

The sense of loosing time is usually accompanied by a the feelings of regret, melancholy, and the idea that there might be missing. I also start to feel the weight of my mortality.

I'm not old. In the description of this blog, it says that I was somewhere in my twenties, at least when I started it. I'll let you guys speculate on my actual age, but it's not like I've "aged" that. What's five years to someone who has graduated college and ventured forth on their own?

This year is the sixth anniversary since the start of a show called Gravity Falls. It was a fun show on one of the Disney channels about two kids spending a summer with their Great Uncle in the middle of no where Oregon. The creator of the show always knew how it would end and that the story would only encompass one summer. The finale was shown three years ago and it lived up to my expectations.

I think you can still watch it on Hulu.

The reason I bring up this show is because the creator explicitly stated that it was inspired by his own summer vacations with his twin sister. He recalls feeling that summers felt endless and that they would be kids forever.

But nothing lasts forever and all things come to an end.

Just like the creator's summer did. Just like the summer Mable and Dipper Pines had in Gravity Falls (that was also the name of the town the show took place in).

I think that's why I get so sad sometimes. It happens when I realize how long it's been since a major life event happened or an enjoyable tradition ended. Around this time last year, I went to the beach with my mom, sister, and aunt. We used to go every year for two weeks at the end of August to this town in Southern New Jersey. I have very fond memories from this time and occasionally I like to pretend that it's still the 90s or early 2000s. But the reality is that we haven't consistently gone to this beach for at least 12(?), 15(?) years old - well it's been over a decade at least.

These are days where it makes me really sad that I can never go back to those times. It's not the same anymore. Somethings seem to be the same, but I can see where time has taken it's toll. Faded paint on the mini golf course, a new store where the ice cream parlor used to be, and the rides on the boardwalk are a lot smaller than when I was six.

Those exact moments only exist in my memories now.

Memories, though, aren't always a guarantee. There are diseases that can wipe out our fondest memories and others that prevent us from creating new ones. I like to try and record what I can, if for no other reason than writing helps me process the things going on in my life. Most I keep private, but some I share on social media and in my blog posts.

Recently, a cousin of mine passed away. Part of me didn't feel it was real until I attended her memorial service. It felt like I was talking to her not all that long ago, promising to see her again at our next family reunion. Then I remembered that that conversation had happened at my family reunion last August. Part of me still feels like I'll see my cousin in just a couple months.

Though it's been over a decade, I still sometimes hear my grandparent's laughter. I can close my eyes and explore the houses I grew up in, even when I haven't been there in years. They're very clear memories and they don't feel like they happened as long ago as they actually did.

I can only hope to create more memories of the new moments in my life and break away from my day-to-day routine whenever I can. I want to have adventures, see the world, and try everything that I can. I want to build memories and fill my life with lots of stories.

Keeping memories is a lot like writing a novel. We only keep the ones that are important to the story we want to tell. We cut out the mundane, ignore the routine, and exaggerate the awesome.

I hope that when I finish writing my story, it's one that's worth remembering.

If you enjoyed this post (or it really pissed you off) please like, share, and/or leave a comment. I love hearing from my readers and I hope you guys like hearing from me.

Until next week.

Welcome to the Inciting Incident of Change

Writing the start of a novel is really hard, especially when I'm anxious to write the "really good" parts first. I suppose I could start with the "really good" parts, but then I run into the issue of people not being attached enough to the characters to care about what's happening to them. I can't just start with action, that might leave the readers confused. And characters need to be invested in what's going on around them for readers to become invested.

For example, how often do you walk to your desk to find your phone with a hundred rubber bands around it?

All this was going through my head while trying to start a novel and justify why this one specific character had the main point of view. 

I'm currently trying to get back into the swing of writing this novel, but I admit that it's been hard. For a while I couldn't quite figure out why I'd been struggling, but now I think I do (other than the whole not finding time to sit and write issue - that's something else entirely).

It's supposed to be a horror coming of age story. One where two boys are going to a supposedly cursed high school where they feel oppressed by the administration and their peers are dying in horrific "accidents". There's also a mysterious girl that one of the boys has a crush on, while the other finds her extremely annoying (she really likes the color pink).

A rough picture of what the "love interest" looks like

This story, in theory, should be easy for me to write. I've long since survived high school and coming of age stories are everywhere. Horror has often featured teenagers in the narrative, especially in the campy horror movies that were snuck into middle school sleepover parties.

Despite the vast number of genre examples I can pull from, I also need to balance the cliche with novelty. I need a reason for people to pick my story to read. It has to be genre compliant and just different enough to stand out.

And this balance has to be established right at the beginning.

The inciting incident is the hook that catches the reader and keeps them reading. This usually happens within the first chapter of the novel with a similar incident happening by the end of chapter 3. It's the event that launches the story from "another day in the life of" to "I'm going on an adventure!"

It's when the writer asks, "what's different about today?"

For my story, this happens when the protagonist starts his first day of freshmen year at a "cursed" high school. That small change to my character's world changes his life forever. It's not too dissimilar from the start of other coming of age stories. Mine just happens to include murderous ghosts to go along with the huge pile of homework.

So if you're struggling with the start of your story or novel, be sure to ask yourself what the change to your character's routine is. Maybe they go to a new coffee shop or a person was rude to them at a restaurant. It could be that the sky lit up bright orange in the middle of the night or cat followed them home.

A change in my everyday routine doesn't always lead to a crazy adventure, but in the world of fiction it can be the difference of winning the lottery or ending up in outer space with weird guy in a blue police box.

Until next week.

If you enjoyed this post (or it really pissed you off) please, like, share, and/or leave a comment. I love hearing from my readers and I hope you guys like hearing from me.

Welcome to the Change that Wasn’t

I know it’s a weird title. Especially since last week I wrote how change is everywhere and needs to be embraced to reach fullest potential. So, why this title?

I often treat change like a life altering event. Sort of a one time shift in my life and everything will be different. Except that’s not how change works,  nor is that how change should be treated.

How many times have I told myself that by X date I will do Y thing, only for me to forget two weeks down the line and realized I’ve missed my deadline?

Too many to count.

And I bet dolllars to donuts that you guys (my readers) have too. These are the changes we are conscious of. The ones we try to plan for, but rarely have the opportunity to follow through with because life gets in the way. Sometimes I’m disappointed that I didn’t follow up with this plan, while others feel so trivial by the time I remember them.

When I moved to New Jersey, I made a rough sketch of my plan for the next five years. I thought I had the whole thing figured out. I’d take the GRE, find a Masters program (though in what was flexible), and move again to be near one of my parents.

I’m now three years into that five year plan and I’ve done maybe two things that I had listed out. Neither of those two things turned out remotely how I thought they would. In fact, looking back on it, I’ve had so many other changes to manage that I pretty much have to scrap that plan all together.

Change still happened, even if it wasn’t the change I was looking for.

There are quite a few days were I don’t feel like I’ve changed all that much and others where I hardly recognize my current self from how I was a year ago. I don’t notice my changes from day to day, but I occasionally realize that the person I was a year ago would have made a very different choice than the choice I ended up making.

Subconsciously or consciously, change happens. One day, I’m pretty sure I’m going to wake up and wonder why my mid-twenties self ever thought they’d always feel so out of focus.

It’s LGBTQ+ Pride Month in the USA and some people might be thinking of coming out to their friends and family. It might seem like everything from that point on will change, and it might. It’s unfortunate and disheartening that the LGBTQ+ community continues to face prejudice and stigma.  But being true to yourself is even more important and I’ve found that most people are accepting and happy for others who are able embrace who they are.

I can’t help being me no more than a tree can help being a tree.

If you’re in the LGBTQ+ community and need someone to talk to, please feel free to call a hotline such as the Trevor Project (866 488 7386) or reach out to a local support group such as a local GSA (Gay Straight Alliance) chapter.

Until next week.

If you enjoyed this post (or it really pissed you off) please like, share, and or leave a comment. I love hearing from my readers and I hope y’all like hearing from me.