Welcome To Letting Go

It Never Seems To Get Easier...

Happy Superb Owl Sunday! I am watching the game while writing this. I’m not really rooting for anyone. They aren’t my teams and I don’t have any motivation to simply pick one. I’m more interested in seeing the commercials and hearing about the after parties in the two states that have legalized pot.  I am betting that the news articles will be interesting tomorrow. 

I am watching the game on my new couch. It is my first new couch. I have decided to call her Sea Boat because of her color (a nice sea blue). Her little brother, Bubbles (the matching chair I ordered) is currently MIA. It is somewhat inconvenient for me, but I will live. With the addition of Sea Boat and Bubbles, I had to do some redecorating. This included getting rid and moving the chairs that had been in my living space since I moved in. 

The big green chair (I call him Big Blue even though he is technically green) has been moved to my dining area along with my desk and work stuff (for when it snows and I’m stuck at home to work).  The area now looks like a neat little study nook and lounge for when I need natural light and want to sit near my cactus. My lava lamp will be joining this area shortly. The dining table and chairs (read card table and folding chairs) is closer to the kitchen now, but not totally in the way. 

I have two “new” lamps. They are not actually new, they are actually really old. One is from the Philippines (circa 1950s or 60s) and I’m not sure where the other one is from. I finally got rid of the fire hazard that was the black floor lamp (its base was broken and no there wasn’t any way to fix it). I think these two new lamps bring a little more character to my home. 

Finally and saddest of all, I got rid of Big Brown. Yes the big brown chair that was nearly three decades old (27 years for an exact age), is now in couch heaven. Taps might have been heard playing as I paid my respects near the dumpster where I laid him to rest. I can’t even look at the dumpster he’s in right now. I almost called my mom to help me fish him back out, clean him and cuddle with him once more. I even cried a bit (I know it’s really pathetic, but I did). All of this emotion was used on a chair. I couldn’t have cared less about the lamp, but the chair I nearly lost it over. 

It is a little stupid to be broken up over a chair and before people ask about why I didn’t sell him on Craig’s List or donate him I will explain. This chair was old, broken and smelled like cigars and wet dogs. No amount of Febreze ever got rid of the smell. To me he smelled like home. To other people (friends who visited) he was just a little unpleasant and stinky. Also the matching couch was already in couch heaven. I thought they needed to be reunited after all the years of separation. 

I almost want to blame movies like “Toy Story” and “The Brave Little Toaster” for the emotional damage that came with tossing this couch. These movies (among others that personified inanimate objects) caused me to form major attachment to things and make me think of them as emotional beings. I thought they were great stories and movies, but I think they might have helped develop a psychological attachment to objects. I wonder how many others of my generation developed this odd sense of loyalty to things that can’t actually feel.

 I also recognize that it sort of symbolizes me further letting go of my childhood. Some of my first memories are of that chair and using it to make forts or as a jungle gym. I’m pretty sure I used to use it as a balance beam to practice gymnastics as a toddler. In essence, by getting rid of Big Brown I am getting rid of childhood and finally embracing adulthood. Hopefully I don’t keep having this problem otherwise my therapy bills are going to be through the roof.

If you enjoyed this post (or it really pissed you off) please share or comment on it anyway you can. I love hearing from people who read my blog and thank all of you very much for taking the time to read about my transitions into adulthood. I am still exploring Wonderland and I hope someone somewhere is getting something out of this. I know I am (therapy). Until next time, enjoy the Big Game. Half time was awesome.