Welcome to the Haunting Horror

Happy belated Halloween! Did you guys have a spooky time? I was suffering from some extreme jet lag as I had spent the past week exploring the Pacific Northwestern region of the United States. Then I decided to take the red-eye home. The only thing scary about my day was the lack of sleep.

When was the last time you felt scared?

The feeling doesn't have to be because of something major. I feel scared for many reasons, some of them even silly. Fear, horror, and terror are all associated with feeling scared. I tend to find myself terrified of some social situations (none I will specify here) or when one of my cousins decides to take a mountain pass road on the side of a cliff...in the rain (“it’s only 8 miles” my foot).

Fear is subjective.

As a child I was always fearful of mysterious monsters in my closet or under my bed. I would build a wall of stuffed animals to keep vampires and ghosts away. Don’t even get me started on zombies. I can’t stand zombies even to today (if only they weren’t a real probability of occurring right?).

Did someone say monsters?

It took a long time for me to be able to watch or read horror stories. There are some stories I still won’t watch (mainly of the torture/slasher variety). I don’t like blood and gore at all. Even in college I wouldn’t watch the show Supernatural after a certain time.

Except things started to change.

It was a slow process. I was always aware of stranger danger, but it wasn’t as big of a reality until I moved away from my friends and family. The idea that I could fail didn’t seem as scary until I was responsible for providing for myself. The future always seemed bright and shiny until I realized there was very little I could do to control it.

My fears went from imaginary monsters to intangible realities. I can’t punch a fear that doesn’t have a physical form.

I also started embracing more of the horror genre as a way to deal with my own nightmares. Slowly at first with kids shows and cheesy movies from the 30s, 40s, and 50s. I became drawn to the beautiful side of horror. Gothic sets with ominous lighting and music scores that could draw out every emotion the characters felt. I really liked horror video games with their intricate stories and emerging the player as both the protagonist and omnipresent observer. Fatal Frame and The Haunting Grounds are two great titles that pull this off.

Now, it’s become a lot harder to horrify me with movies, books, and even video games. It’s not that I’ve seen it all or that I know the genre too well. It’s more that a lot of horror mediums these days rely on cheap scares to jolt their audience into an adrenaline rush.

The type of horror I’m drawn to is subtle. It isn’t a sudden jump scare or loud “boo” to the face. It’s seductive, able to draw their victim in to a beautiful trap that leaves them shaking for days after wondering when the next bout of terror will come. It’s a horror that stalks its prey long after the prey has escaped.

A great example of this horror done well is the new Netflix original The Haunting of Hill House. I was surprised by how off putting and truly terrifying the mini series was. The very few jump scares were on point and not cheap thrills.

The new Suspiria movie that just came out is an equally terrifying experience (though I wasn't so keen on the Epilogue portion of the movie). Much like 2018's The Haunting of Hill House, this remake of the 1977 classic takes things in a completely new direction while keeping the bar bones of the original. It's a slow burn horror movie that draws the viewer in and isn't shy about being upfront with the supernatural aspects of the movie.

However, these examples might not be seen as scary or engaging enough for everyone.

The thing about horror is that its incredibly subjective. A movie like the 2017 It doesn't scare me for a couple of reasons: 1) I'm not scared of clowns, 2) I know that there's a whole other part because I watched the original 1990s miniseries, and 3) the imagery that's supposed to shock me - doesn't. That doesn't mean there weren't a few good scares in the movie. I definitely jumped when I first saw the headless boy following Ben and the scene with Pennywise coming out of the projector was creepy as all get out. I still enjoyed the movie, I just wasn't scared by it.

I may find it creepy, but it's not scary.

As my taste in horror media changed, so too did the things that scared me. I'm no longer scared of ghosts or witches or vampires. Now I'm scared of things that are a lot more abstract and less straight forward to fight back against. I'm scared of the a future I can't predict. I'm scared of hypothetical situations that I can neither control nor account for. I'm afraid of isolation and being forgotten about.

People have different fears, anxieties, and feelings. What one person finds scary another finds invigorating. Some people like being scared, others hate it with every fiber of their body. Fears morph and change as your life does the same.

Just remember one thing: whatever your scared of, no matter how mundane - it's okay to feel that fear.

Just try not to let those fears take over your life.

Until next week.

If you enjoyed this post (or it really pissed you off) please like, share, and/or leave a comment. I love hearing from my readers and I hope you guys like hearing from me.

Welcome to the Darker Side of Things

Halloween is fast approaching! Have you guys picked out a costume yet?

Halloween has always held a special place in my heart. The decorations, the costumes, and the TV specials were always fun this time of year. I loved dressing up for Halloween (still do when I can). I always had to be either something dead or scary. One year, when I was dressed as a vampire, I scared my next door neighbor so bad that he refused to go trick or treating. I think he was barely one or two years old at the time.

Though I love most things about the season, I’m not a huge fan of haunted houses. Don’t get me wrong, the decorations and costumes are fantastic, but I can’t deal with the sensory overload that sometimes happens to me with the flashing lights and loud noises. Plus I really hate jump scares - they’re not actually scary, just startling.

It’s the Halloween aesthetic that I truest find beautiful. The leaves are changing colors, then falling to the ground. The air smells crisp and a little smoky at times. There’s an ever lingering reminder that with life eventually comes death.

I love it.

If you’ve been reading my blog for a while now, you’d have notice that I really like witches and the Gothic aesthetic. I’m a big sucker for movies like Sleepy Hallow and Bram Stoker’s Dracula (even with the silly accents and over sexual tones). I read the short stories of Edgar Allen Poe and H. P. Lovecraft over and over again.

Death is the overarching theme of the season with some villainy and chaos on the side. I think there’s a reason the Sanderson sisters are so fondly remembered even though they are planning on murdering children in the movie Hocus Pocus. They’re everything fun and evil about the season. They’re threatening, but not too threatening.

For a while now, I’ve been working on creating a collection of poems that I feel fit into the Gothic style. I’ve written about 30 poems so far and, though I’m n where near close yet, I would like to try to get them published next year. I might even include some ink drawings.

A lot of these poems focus on death and what comes after. I take great joy in playing with expectations such as using limericks, tropically a playful or funny poem style, and use that format as though it were on a gravestone.

I’ve been told by a few people that my work can be delightfully demented.

Or maybe I was using that term to describe my sense of writing style. I don’t always like it when something is scary to be scary or depressing to be depressing. That isn’t how I am always able to work through my emotions. I often twist and bend these expressions to where it might take a bit to realize exactly what I’m writing about.

Death can be absurdly funny, like in the movies Scream, Scary Movie, and Final Destination. There’s a part of me that’s satisfied when the villain is killed off for good to triumph, like in Hocus Pocus or pretty much every Disney Villain ever.

There’s nothing wrong with being fascinated with the darker side of things. True crime stories and ghost hunting shows are still popular. There’s a mortician who hosts a YouTube channel and explains different things about her job (it’s called “Ask a Mortician”. People still visit sites of mass destruction, murder, and battlefields whether as reminders of the past or to satisfy a morbid need.

I’m not sure where my fascination with the darkness in life comes from. It could be that I need to have some kind of exposure to the worst side of nature so that I can appreciate the best.

It’s hard to know what to do with extreme negativity when you’re not regularly exposed to it. How do you empathize with an experience you’ve never lived through, but know that other people have? How is it possible to understand another person’s pain when you can’t comprehend where that pain came from?

Seeking out darkness isn’t bad. I find that it’s just another way for me to make peace with the experiences I’ve witness and lived through.

If you enjoyed this post (or it really pissed you off) please like, share, and/or leave a comment. I love hearing from my readers and I hope you guys like hearing from me.

Until next week.

Welcome to Mischief Night

Happy night before Halloween or All Hallows' Eve otherwise known as Mischief Night.  Back when my mom was a kid (or heck go back to when my grandfather was a kid), this was the night that the kids would play tricks on their neighbors. Stuff like throwing toilet paper in trees were some of the pranks that were pulled. 

Now, not so much and that's probably a good thing. However I have seen a recent trend of people talking about how different Halloween has become over the past few decades or so. In some places, kids no longer trick or treat at all. They instead go to the local mall, a school, or a trunk or treat event (when I was a kid if these were options we'd just do as many as we could in addition to traditional trick or treating).

I'll be honest I was one of those kids who dressed up and went trick or treating until I was about 16 years old (I also looked like I was about 12) and it was always a blast. We'd walk around the neighborhood in group of 5 or 6 kids with an adult not that far behind us. Sometimes people would have amazing decorations up that we'd run through giggling. Other times a neighbor would be hidden near the candy bowl and move to scare us when we least suspected it.

We knew we were never in any real danger, especially with  our parents egging us on to ring the doorbell of the really scary houses. There was one year when I was 7 that I scared a neighbor's kids so badly that they refused to go trick or treating. I was dressed as a vampire and had fake blood dripping down my chin.

Halloween as a kid was the best!

As an adult Halloween can be fun, but it depends on what to do. I've always been excited to pass out candy to trick or treaters, except in all the areas that I lived, there weren't any. Most kids went trick or treating at the above mentioned approved places. I might get some this year, but I don't know for certain.

As an adult, I have the option of going to haunted houses, going out and partying, staying in and watching scary movies, or all three. I've spent most of the season going through my Halloween movie collection.

Haunted Houses are another aspect of Halloween that I think has changed a lot. I remember the first year that Buschgardens hosted Hallowscream. It was really cool, if very crowded. Now every theme park seems to have Halloween attractions at night during October. Then there are the haunted houses, hay rides, and corn mazes that crop up only for this time of year. They can range from the sort of cheesy to the OMG I can't believe I signed a waiver to do this.

I actually don't like haunted houses. I'm not that big of a fan of gory horror movies either, but the campy ones with Vincent Price are always worth a viewing. As much as I like the decorations and atmosphere at Halloween, I'm not into getting the stuffing scared out of me by a guy wielding a chainsaw. I'd rather be outside dressed up as a silly spook begging my neighbors for free candy.

But since it's not socially acceptable for me to go trick or treating anymore, I'm going to enjoy watching old horror movies on Hulu while Elvira gives her snarky commentary.

Stay safe everyone. Have a happy Halloween. And if you guys do celebrate Devil's/Mischief Night, try not to do any actual damage and clean up any small pranks.

Someone smashed the pumpkins :(

Until next week.

If you enjoyed this post (or it really pissed you off), please like, share, and/or leave a comment. I love hearing from my readers and I hope you guys like hearing from me.

Cue the evil laughter.