It's also been an odd autumn for me this year.
After getting laid off and attending my sister's wedding, I found myself trying to figure out how to structure my day. There are times when I feel like I have too much time on my hands and I have no idea what to do with myself. However, more and more, I find that I am super busy.
Weekends were the only days during the week where time was my own. They were structured as well, but always filled with things to do. They were rarely ever restful and I often (ironically) would wake up Monday morning wishing I had an extra day to actually rest and stay in bed all day.
I now have that Monday, and Tuesday, and every day through Sunday, and back to Monday again.
I never stay in bed all day, no matter how much I sometimes want to. I'm usually busy with my future job prospects, keeping my home clean, and trying to keep my mind from getting too wound up.
I started mentally referring to this time as The Eternal Weekend.
And though I've been able to get a lot of stuff I want to do done (art, writing, and cooking), I've also been constantly stressed about my future. It's a tough balance.
As I stated when I first got laid off, I have some of the greatest friends and family. They've kept me from isolating myself while job hunting and given me a lot of moral support. This past weekend, my sister came for a visit. Every day that she's been here we've done something fun (and we didn't even go into New York City).
Horseback riding in the fall is amazing! |
Corn mazes, horseback riding, and (tonight) a pumpkin blaze in Sleep Hollow. We've watched movies and had fun making pumpkin themed food while drinking pumpkin themed drinks. We've hung out with my friends and gotten lost in the mountains of New Jersey. I've even finally found the infamous Clinton Road (a famous scary road without street lights in northern New Jersey).
I'm glad that it's autumn and that I get to savor every minute of it.
I still want this Eternal Weekend to end.
It will end (hopefully sooner rather than later).
The waiting, the uncertainty, the anxiety are the hardest parts.
I don't know how I'll reflect back on this time in my life. I know that it's been a learning experience, though I'm still not sure yet what I'm learning. But I will take each day as it comes - with one foot in front of the other.
Until next week.
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