We cannot escape the emotions we feel.
Emotions are often the driving force behind my actions. I go to amusement parks because I love how roller coasters make me happy. I read mysteries because solving the plot before the main character does makes me feel smart. I tend to go hide when I'm angry because I've been known to do some pretty stupid and destructive things when I'm feeling extreme anger.
These are all valid emotions I have felt at one point or another. I am also not the only person who acts upon the strong emotions. I might forget that on occasion (which is not one of my better traits), especially when I'm arguing with my sibling about something. These arguments tend to quickly descend into screaming matches and it can take a while for us to forgive each other.
Emotions are what separate us from machines and computers. Granted, artificial intelligence is getting pretty good at recognizing and responding to human's emotions, but there is one thing a machine can not be programmed to do. A machine cannot be empathetic.
Empathy is the ability to understand and share feelings with another individual. I've also heard it described as feeling the exact emotions another person is feeling. It shouldn't be confused with sympathy, which is feeling pity or sorrow for someone's misfortune.
One of the best quotes or analogies I've heard for empathy is that you can never know what someone else is going through until you've walked a mile in their shoes. It's a good analogy. After all everyone has a slightly different world view and might have a different perspective to share.
But is it the best analogy?
The funny thing about shoes is that they are made to fit the size of a person's feet. A person can't control the size of their feet, so they need to be able to find shoes that fit well enough not to pinch their toes and aren't so large that they trip. Just because I can fit perfectly into one pair of shoes doesn't mean that I can fit into sibling's shoes, or my coworker, or even the shoes of my readers.
How can I walk a mile in someone else's shoes, when I can't get my feet to into them?
Sometimes I need a little help.
Books and movies (and comic books) are great mediums for evoking emphatic emotions. The ones that are the most popular and have the most staying power are also usually the ones that connect best with us on an emotional level. There's always at least one character (hopefully the protagonist) that we, as an audience, can identify with and root for throughout the course of the story.
These stories can become so powerful, that they start to take on a life of their own. They gain fans who celebrate the characters and how they overcame their challenges. Conventions might start popping up, so that fans can gather in groups and discuss how these stories changed their lives.
A good example of stories that touched lives for my generation would be the Harry Potter books. We, the audience, are introduced to a magical world along side Harry in the first book. When he is amazed by the moving pictures, so are we. We, the audience, are able to empathize with Harry's experiences and opinions because the books are told from his perspective. We are figuratively in Harry's shoes throughout the entire series.
Harry is introduced to a lot of new and wonderful people when he arrives in the magical world at the same time we are. He's also faced with tough challenges and people who want to see him silenced (Dolores Umbridge) or dead (Voldemort and his Death Eaters). Throughout all of these encounters we are seeing everything through Harry's perspective and emotions.
Harry starts out as a wide eyed curious kid in the first few books. His innocence is shattered at the end of the fourth book with the death of Cedric Diggory. We have to put up with him being an angsty teenager throughout the entirety of the fifth book (and a few parts of the third book). We also get to witness him destroy Dumbledore's office while he is trying to work through his anger and pain at the death of Sirius Black. We're able to understand the relief and happiness he feels when he's finally defeated Voldemort.
Through Harry's perspective, we know who the bad guys are and we know who the good guys are. We also know there are people who aren't good or bad, but they do cause a lot of problems for Harry (an example would be Fudge). There are also the people we see make choices out of anger that later turn out to be really bad mistakes (Percy Weasley).
We tend to ignore or miss the same things Harry does. For example, Harry hero worships his father and his godfather, to the point where they can almost do no wrong in his opinion. However, there are clear signs that that wasn't the case. James Potter and Sirius Black were good people, there's no denying that. They probably wouldn't have befriended Remus Lupin if they weren't. They were also bullies.
Oh, I'm sure James and Sirius didn't think they were the bullies. If I were to guess, I'd say they felt that they were targeting the "real bullies". Snape was a known favorite target for them to harass and he hung out with a lot of people who would eventually become Death Eaters. James and Sirius did push Snape too far with their bullying and Snape lost his best friend and love interest Lily Potter (nee Evans) because of it. Snape called Lily a "mudblood" in front of a large group of people and I'll bet right then and there that James and Sirius felt that what they were doing to Snape was completely justified. Snape proved he was hateful against muggle born wizards. James and Sirius would never use such hateful words to describe someone, they felt that they were better than that.
Throughout the fifth book, you start to see some of the signs that Sirius was extremely flawed. There were a couple of comments made by Lupin at the very beginning after Harry isn't picked to be a prefect. There's Sirius's treatment of Kreacher, someone who has no rights and had been neglected for years. Finally there's Harry's journey into Snape's memories where we see a confrontation between James, Sirius, and Snape. Despite all of these signs, Harry still continues to idolize Sirius and his father.
It isn't until much later that Harry realizes these very obvious flaws led to Sirius' downfall. And it does take him a while to figure this out (two more books longer). At first Harry is totally consumed by anger. He tries to use the cruciatus curse to torture Bellatrix and even comes close to casting the killing curse while Voldemort is goading him on. He destroys much of Dumbledore's office while he rages.
Dumbledore is able to stop Harry from taking his anger out on Kreacher. Yeah, about Kreacher, the movies don't really get into it, but he was the key to Sirius' death. After dealing with Sirius' abuse for half a year, Kreacher goes to Narcissa and Bellatrix for comfort. They were kind to Kreacher and maybe even sympathetic. It probably didn't take much convincing to get Kreacher to tell them everything about Harry and Sirius' father-son relationship. They in turn told Voldemort all of this and Voldemort convinced Harry that Sirius was in serious danger. When Harry tries to check on Sirius, he is met with Kreacher, who lies and says that Sirius is missing. Harry walks right into a trap which leads to Sirius dying.
It takes Harry over a year to forgive Kreacher and he almost doesn't. Dumbledore and Hermione have to point out to Harry how awful Sirius treated Kreacher and there was very little Kreacher could do to stop the abuse. He also has to learn about Kreacher's relationship with Regulus Black (the most unsung hero of the entire series I might add) for him to reach a turning point with his own relationship with the house elf. He is also able to empathize with Kreacher's experience in the cave from the sixth book.
Harry finally realizes that despite all of the good things his godfather did, he also did a lot of bad things. Remus even tells Harry that he never stood up to his best friends because he was scared that they would turn on him and tell everyone that he was a werewolf. This realization also probably helped Harry realize that other people he looked up to had flaws. He gets mad at Remus when he offers to join the golden trio hunting for horcruxes and would leave his wife and unborn child behind. Harry understands why Aberforth was estranged from his brother.
We are only able to realize these things because we are walking in Harry's shoes through all of it. J. K. Rowling did a fantastic job teaching us that the good guys didn't always do the right thing and that sometimes the bad guys did (Narcissa and Snape are the two best examples). She wrote a story that we were able to identify and empathize with.
We all see the world differently. We are the main characters in our own personal stories (though I occasionally feel like a side character, but that's another blog post). Unfortunately we are the only ones who understand what we feel at every second. It can be really hard to understand why someone else makes a choice that you yourself would never make.
Empathy is tough. There are some shoes that I will never be able to fit into, but boy oh boy will I try. The emotions people feel are very real. They can't always be controlled.
If you enjoyed this post (or it really pissed you off), please like, share, and/or leave a comment. I love hearing from my readers and I hope you guys like hearing from me. Until next week.
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