Welcome to My Least Favorite Parts of Spooky Season

I have happily shared with you guys my love of the Halloween season. The beautiful colors of the falling leaves, the creepy yet fun decorations, and the wonderful things to eat are all wonderful. I'm fond of seeing all the little kids in their costumes and their excitement going trick or treating. 

However, I must admit that there are a few things about this time of year that either get on my nerves or cause me distress. It's not all sugar and spice and everything delightfully spooky this time of year and here are are a few of mine. 

Haunted House Mazes 

Some of you might be surprised that I'm not a fan of these pop up attractions - especially since I've been noted to enjoy Buschgardens Hall-o-Scream. Except I can't stand the sensory overload that is the haunted house (or haunted maze as my family always called them). From an overstimulation of noise, and overuse of strobe lights, to lots of fake fog to trigger my asthma, and the over use of jump scares, I just don't enjoy this experience. If I am somehow talked into (or blackmailed into) entering one of these monstrosities, I typically will be walking with my ears covered - much to the confusion of everyone but my family. These are great for some people, but not so much for me.

The only Haunted House I do enjoy is the one at Disney World/Disneyland.

Fake Chain Saws

Similar to Haunted House Mazes, these beyond evil noise makers never fail to freak me out. If you want to see me jump about a foot in the air, rev up a real chain saw in my general vicinity. I guarantee you a freaked out reaction. So if I can't handle the real ones, why would I like the fake ones often used in theme park scare zones or outside Haunted House Maze attractions. I hate them with the fiery passion of a thousand suns.  

Zombies

First of all, the modern "zombie" is actually more of a traditional ghoul. The origin of zombies comes from Haitian and Caribbean voodoo (or Vodou) which is an actual religious practice. Most depictions of Vodou zombies in western media are wrong and insulting to the practitioners of voodoo/Vodou. Depictions of the more ghoul like zombie freak me out and the fact that the US military has a plan in place for when a zombie out break occurs doesn't help with my irrational fears. I'm not sure if it's the amount of violence associated with zombies or the sheer mindlessness of their existence that cause my skin to crawl more. Zombies are a big no thank you.

Fun Fact: I was once asked in college if I'd survive a zombie apocalypses. Before I could answer and without skipping a beat, my college roommate goes: "they'd die." Alas, my college roommate is probably right.

Harming of Animals

Sadly, Halloween and spooky season is also associated with the mindless harm of animals - especially black cats. Some of my friends growing up had a black cat and their family always made sure to securely lock the kitty away on Halloween for fear that someone would harm her. It's not cool to harm animals on Halloween for a prank or try to commune with the devil. 

PSA - keep all cats and dogs inside on Halloween, especially if they have black fur.

Overly Sexual Costumes for Children

Why is this a thing?

Pumpkin Spice Flavored Hate

I get that it's everywhere. I get that some people are totally put off by it. But I enjoy it and I don't care if that makes me "basic". Pumpkin spice and everything nice is a wonderful part of this season. The haters can go have their hate party in another part of the Internet.

And Finally: The Glorification of Serial Killers

I have a question - are TikTokers who watch the glamorized dramatization "documentaries" of serial kills and claim that they weren't disturbed okay? No, seriously, are you okay? It's one thing to enjoy watching Freddy or Jason or Michael Meyers on the big screen. It's an entirely different can of worms if you can watch media on real life evil people and not want to vomit. Please stop encouraging the glorification of people who have done horrific things to other people. Families of victims don't deserve this. The victims of these crimes don't deserve this. I honestly wish that these people would fade away from public consciousness. We don't need any more of these "documentaries" dropping around Halloween time (or ever).

I love the Halloween season and enjoy some of the spooky things that come with it. But as much as I love "all things spooky", there are a few draw backs. However, I can (usually) avoid the things I don't enjoy. 

You can find me this season hanging out in a pumpkin patch or exploring a corn maze (I promise to only sacrifice one family to the corn). I also enjoy seeing the cool decorations - minus any loud noises or jump scares. 

What are your favorite parts of the Halloween season? Have any least favorite things about the season?

If you enjoyed this post (or it really pissed you off) please like, share, and/or leave a comment. I love hearing from my readers and I hope y'all like hearing from me.

Until next week. 

Welcome to Modern Thoughts on a Pandemic

One of the first black and white movies I ever watched was Ghost on the Loose. It’s one of the East Side Kids/ Bowery Boys movies (basically a 30s/40s version of the “brat pack” of the 80s). The plot of the movie is about how the Kids want to get a house ready for one of their newly married friends, accidentally go to the wrong house where the Nazis are printing war propaganda (the irony isn’t lost of me), solve the “haunted house” mystery, save the USA from Nazis, and end up quarantined because one of them catches the German Measles at the end of the movie.

I distinctly remember asking my dad and grandfather once the movie was over what it meant to be quarantined. They said it meant that they couldn’t leave the house because they might get other people very sick.

To a child who grew up when the Chicken Pox vaccine was just coming out (I actually did catch the Chicken Pox because the vaccine hadn’t come out just yet), the idea that an illness could cause an entire group of people to be trapped inside (even if they didn’t have the disease) was tough to comprehend. I only ever heard about Measles because my parents would mention how lucky it was we didn’t have to worry about it. I knew about Polio from history books and knowing a nice older lady who had contracted the illness as a child.

Epidemics and pandemics were for the history books. My childhood understanding of the world insisted that doctors could cure anything.

This, of course, isn’t true in the slightest.

It wasn’t until I became interested in zombies (of all things) that my understanding of diseases began to change. The early to mid-2000s were all about the zombies. I read the Zombie Survival Guide, watched all of the zombie movies, and started researching the “what if” situations that might occur if a zombie outbreak did happen. This research lead me down a rabbit hole into the general spread of diseases and then into pandemics. To my adolescent brain, a zombie apocalypse wasn’t that dissimilar to what happened during the Black Death.

Fast forward several years and I’m in college taking a class called Mathematical Biology. It was one of the few biology classes I enjoyed, probably because it was all systems of equations and differential equations, but that’s not the point. There was some discussion of a zombie apocalypse during the class - predator/prey models are much more interesting if zombies are involved, but what really caught my interest was the SIR model or the Susceptibility, Infection, and Recovery model that is used for modeling the spread of highly infectious diseases.

A year later, I’m in my Numerical Analysis class and picking my final project. I chose to attempt replicating the spread and death rate of the 1918 pandemic. This required some manipulation of the model on my part (the most simplistic version of the model doesn’t take into account death rates and instead categorized them as “recovered” - logic being that if you’re dead you no longer have the disease).

I did a ton of research for this project and fell down several more rabbit holes into why certain cities in the US had different death rates (the flattening of the curve model wasn’t something I found, but the number of doctors in different cities because of World War 1 was - more doctors equaled more people living). My model wasn’t perfect, but I learned a lot.

The most interesting thing I learned during that project was just how likely a pandemic actually was. I’ve already lived through Swine Flu, Bird Flu, Ebola, SARS, and a few other potential pandemics, but the one we’re facing now is definitely a taste of what is likely to come in the future.

Don’t get me wrong. COVID-19 is deadly, dangerous, and should be taken seriously.

However, with climate change, over population, and the general nature of viruses - things could be and possibly might get worse. It might not be COVID-19 - though there is still potential for it to mutate a second time like the 1918 pandemic and have a worse mortality rate.

There’s also the human response we have to factor in. Already panic shopping has caused stores to run out of essentials. Schools are closing and people are being told to work from home (if they can). People who are homeless or suffer from food insecurity are going to be hit the hardest and it might not be the disease that hurts them most.

There are reports of people stock piling resources to sell at jacked up prices. Hospitals are concerned about the number of cases they’ll be able to handle. There’s a shortage of face masks and the entire country if Italy is on lockdown.

For people like me - financially secure, healthy, and can easily work from home - this is a minor inconvenience. Even if I were to catch the disease it might not be that bad for me.

But this situation isn’t just about me. There are millions of vulnerable people who are no where near as luck.

Here are some things I ask for people to do (if they are able) during this crisis:

1)  Wash your hands - Soap and water are designed to remove the virus from your skin. Use hand sanitizers in between or if you can’t get to soap.
2) If you feel sick for ANY reason - stay home. It might not be the COVID-19, but no chances should be taken. If you need to see a doctor, call in first. Even if you don’t have the virus, if you are sick your immune system is weakened and you could catch something worse. On the flip side you could also spread your illness to someone else.
3) Don’t panic buy, but if you do please donate some of your abundance to local shelters and food banks.
4) Keep tabs on your family, neighbors, or friends who may not be able to prepare or protect themselves as well. I’ve heard numerous reports of older people being scared to go shopping for fear of catching the disease. If you are healthy - see if you can help out.
5) Not everyone can work from home, please be respectful of people who are required to be present to work. See if you can help them by watching their kids or walking their pets.

Please stay safe everyone. I never imagined that I would live through a pandemic, though I always knew it was possible. Our world is not a me, it is a we.

Until next week.

If you enjoyed this post (or it really pissed you off) please like, share, and/or leave a comment. I love hearing from my readers and I hope y’all like hearing from me.

Welcome to Monsters Part 1: Evil Predators Under the Bed

So I wanted to get a few things out of the way before really diving into this week's post. First, everything that I am writing is my opinion which is based on my own experiences and (occasional) research. How I interpret something could be entirely different from how someone else does. Second, I am aware that there are people out there who have done a much better analysis than I am about to do on this topic. That's not going to stop me. Third, I enjoy writing and (to a lesser extent) reading horror. This series has been buzzing in my brain for a while and I'm not entirely sure how long it will go for. You've been warned.

An image from my sketch book... 

The monsters of my childhood were simple. They hid in the darkest shadows of my bedroom, waiting for me to peak out from under the safety of my covers and spirit me away. Only my army of stuffed animals kept the evil creatures at bay.

Or at least that was what my childish logic told me.

They are the predators and we are the prey.

Humans have it pretty good right now from an evolutionary stand point. We've somehow managed to populate every continent on Earth and it's only a matter of time before we start looking at colonizing the moon or building underwater dwellings deep on the ocean floor. There isn't anything on our planet that uses us as a primary food source (bacteria don't count). We are the dominate species.

But we weren't always the top dog and I think a part of our instinct subconscious remembers that.

Many of the scariest and most evil of monsters in our classic and popular culture (at least the western  culture which I am most familiar with) are terrifying because they prey on humans or want to cause serious harm. Manticores are known for consuming their victims whole, leaving no shred of evidence behind. Vampires want to suck the life right out of you. Zombies will tear out your throat and start eating you, while you're still alive. 

All pleasant images right?

Here there be monsters!

Explorers used to write on maps "here there be monsters" to indicate unexplored or extremely dangerous areas. It would be far from civilization where a lot of things that were unknown about these places. Those who went there, sometimes didn't come back. 

Creatures such as the kraken, manticore, siren, and harpy supposedly inhabited these area. They were blamed for shipwrecks, strange disappearances, and unexplained deaths. They preyed on humans in the same way that humans preyed on other animals.

Off the edge of the map, we weren't special anymore. 

I think the ones that can talk and easily mimic human speech are the scariest. They trick their victims into thinking they're in distress, but when the hopeless sap gets too close, it's too late. Human is eaten. The creepiest example that I have come across while doing research is from the Philippines's mythology. The tiyanak is sometimes depicted as a vampire like creature that makes the same sounds as a baby in distress to lure its victims to their deaths. 

I feel that is one monster I would easily tricked by.

The Odyssey had a lot of anthropomorphize creatures that tried to lead our heroes astray. The sirens in particular stand out. Their beautiful voices enchanting anyone who gets too close to their island, leading them to a horrible shipwreck. I was never certain if they did this to amuse themselves or if they ate their drowned victims too. Either way, they are hunting humans with hypnotic singing.

They were human once...

I've always thought that the most tragic monsters are the ones who started out as human. They are twisted into the evil creatures that haunt our nightmares instead of just being born to cause us harm. Vampires, werewolves, wendigos, and zombies are all creatures that (depending on source material) started out as perfectly ordinary people. 

And they need to eat us to survive.

There are different degrees to these types of stories. There's sometimes a shred of humanity still in them. But the need to survive nearly always wins. Dracula might have at one point been a human, but by the time he makes his way to London, he is perfectly fine eating an entire ship's crew. 

Zombies probably scare me the most in this category. Zombies were really popular when I was in middle school and I read a couple books and saw a few movies starring them. The heroes in these films were always under threat of being eaten or turned. Inevitably, one of the members of their party would get bitten and a morality crisis ensued. Did the group kill the infected individual before they could become the zombie or did they wait and hope the person didn't actually turn? Could they look into the face of their family/friend and kill them while they were still human? Could they do it after their family/friend became a zombie?

I don't know which is a worse feeling, the idea that I'm about to be eaten by a monster or that I might become the evil monster. Knowing that you're about to die is one thing. Knowing that you might be the cause of your friends and family's death is another. Would you rather die or become the monster?

Of heroes and monsters.

Monsters are typically vanquished by a hero. 

In the western classics, we are taught about how Hercules slayed the hydra (as part of his penitence for murdering his family) and how St. George saved a princess from being eaten by a vengeful dragon (and perpetuating a horrible cliche). The hero is either tasked to kill the evil monster to prove his worth or redeem himself from some horrible sin. It's not a matter of who will win the fight, but how the hero will succeed.

It is the classic good versus evil narrative. 

These types of stories continue exist in our modern culture. Tolkien told us about how a hobbit along with thirteen dwarves traveled to The Lonely Mountain to reclaim a treasure from a dragon (Hobbit). Buffy and her friends (Buffy The Vampire Slayer) protected us from the vampire apocalypse. The Winchester brothers (Supernatural) are still "saving people, hunting things" (you all knew I was going to work this in eventually).

The monsters are the evil that need to be destroyed and the hero is the good we root for. Good always wins the day.

We humans might be food monsters prey upon, but we are also the hope that keeps their evil at bay.

Alright that last line is a little sappy, even for me. 

If you enjoyed this post (or it really pissed you off) please like, share, and/or leave a comment. I love hearing from my readers and I hope you guys like hearing from me.

Let's see what kinds of monsters we'll meet next week.