Guys, mushrooms are weird.
But, like, weird in a cool way.
Mushrooms are neither plant nor animal. They belong to a different living organism kingdom known as fungi (like that gross itchy thing growing on athlete's feet). Some are small, like the tiny Mycena subcyanocephala, while some are really freaking big, like the world's largest living organism Armillaria ostoyae. Yes, you read that right. The world's largest organism is a mushroom in Oregon. You can insert a joke about Oregonians and their recreational activities here.
Some mushrooms are edible and some are happy to eat you...after you die that is. Some are used by trees as a network for communication known as a "woodwide web" (a pun I can't take credit for, but am happy to use. There are even some mushrooms that apparently eat plastic.
With such a wide variety of mushroom species with unique looks, uses, flavors, and hallucinogenic properties, I think it's safe to say that mushrooms are really cool and really weird.
Growing up, I was never a big mushroom fan. I thought they looked like aliens and had a slimy texture (like what I thought aliens might taste like). I would often turn my nose up at dishes that blatantly had mushrooms in them.
That was, until I went to Japan at 11 and was told that I would have to get used to eating them (or as the rule went: two bites before I could say "no thank you"). This is when I learned to love enoki mushrooms. At first I thought they were noodles and enjoyed the way they'd get stuck in my teeth. I quickly learned otherwise and would ask for them all the time - alone with the more well known shitake mushrooms.
However, it still took a while for me to really enjoy the culinary options that came with mushrooms. This was mainly due to the fact that I can't stand portabella mushrooms and they were everywhere (along with the button variety which I find marginally more appealing).
That is until I started going to farmer's markets with people who cultivated mushrooms. Suddenly, I had my whole world opened to new mushroom flavors. My current favorites are king oyster and maitake (otherwise known as hen-of-the-woods). Both have distinct flavors that require different cooking styles. King oyster can be used as a substitute for a lot of seafood, but especially scallops. Maitake have a stronger flavor that I prefer to roast in the oven.
Also fun fact about oyster mushrooms: they might not be strictly vegan or vegetarian friendly as they will consume live worms while growing. This is similar to the grey area that figs (require the death of a wasp to grow) and honey (no bees die from the production or cultivation of honey if done properly) fall into.
But those are just a few of the many culinary mushrooms humans are able to eat.
However, there are even more mushrooms that will instead cause agonizing death and a few look like the yummy kind of mushroom.
You know those red and white mushroom's Mario and Luigi use to upgrade their bodies? They're deadly in real life.
Since the 2020 pandemic, mushroom foraging has become a popular hobby. This is good for getting people outside and looking for their own food. This is bad because people are over picking mushrooms that are needed in the environment. Nature is a delicate balance...one that humans are constantly messing up in the modern era. Also, with the onset of AI book writing, there are a number of badly written mushroom foraging guides for sale on Amazon that have (at best) misleading information and (at worst) seriously bad you, will die if you eat that information. Be wary of AI written work in general, but this is just criminally bad.
There are also the getting high kind of mushrooms that will take you on a hallucinogenic trip...or might be useful for therapy for people suffering from severe PTSD and depression under the right circumstances (and government approval). I first learned more about this in a Netflix 2019 documentary called Fantastic Fungi, which was truly fascinating. It was also where I learned that if you're going to do mushrooms, maybe don't be in the woods while a thunderstorm is going on - you might climb a tree.
Most recently, mushrooms have been popping up more and more in the horror genre. From the video game, turned TV adaptation The Last of Us to the seriously creepy novel "Mexican Gothic". Mushrooms are everywhere (literally and figuratively) and since we don't know a whole lot about every single species, they make for a great horror story. Especially since there exists and actual mushroom known as the Ophiocordyceps unilateralis that turns ants into zombies.
You're welcome for that fun fact.
Well, I'm off to make my dinner of roasted mushrooms. Hopefully, you still have an appetite. What are some of your favorite mushrooms - either to eat or stair at, doesn't matter. Until next week.
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