For the past few weeks, I have been a spectator to YouTube drama. Normally, I wouldn’t be interested in this type of “drama” (there are other types of drama I’m more likely to pop popcorn for). This instance peaked my interest for a couple of reasons and since then, I’ve fallen down a rabbit hole trying to understand the whys of the situation.
Basically a YouTuber I had no interest in (let’s call them YouTuber 1), decided to go after a YouTuber I do like (they’ll be YouTuber 2) because YouTuber 1 didn’t like the review YouTuber 2 gave their poetry collections. Now, I’d watched YouTuber 2’s reviews on these books (I am somewhat invested in the literary side of YouTube - also called “BookTube” - to better understand my writing craft). YouTuber 2 did a fantastic job critiquing the collections and even gave great advice on how YouTuber 1 could improve (one reason I watch YouTuber 2).
YouTuber 1 evidently didn’t like being critiqued. From what I’ve seen seen in the past week, YouTuber 1 can’t handle any kind of criticism. They only like praise. So, about six months after YouTuber 2 posted their videos, YouTuber 1 ranted about the review and sent their fans to harass YouTuber 2. This has set off a whole chain of events that has left me mortified, entertained, and a little terrified.
My accidental deep dive has lead me to the conclusion that YouTuber 1 is a train wreck about to happen. They appear to be trying to take as many people with them as possible, but the people YouTuber 1 is targeting aren’t in really in the wrong. All YouTuber 1 is doing is self destructing and alienating everyone who was ever their friend.
Holy crap has it been a crazy train…
And I can’t look away.
Why can’t I look away?
These past few weeks, I’ve also been watching the Disney+ show Loki.
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| I dedicate my life to this version of Loki. |
Coincidentally, the show Loki is also about a train wreck of a person blaming everyone but themselves for their problems. Each episode has forced the title character, Loki, to face their bad behavior, realize they aren’t special, and try to become a better version of themselves (which is very much a work in progress).
*Note the following will have some spoilers for the first five episodes of Loki. Additionally, I plan on providing some of my own theories for the sixth and final episode for this run. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED*
Loki’s journey to understanding themself starts in the first episode when they are confronted with their mother’s death (which they are responsible for), their father’s acceptance and death, and their own death. The second episode has them learning of the future destruction of their home world and the fact that at least one version of themselves is a girl. We find out in episode 3, that the girl version has shed her Loki identity and renamed herself Sylvie. Effectively, Loki is her dead name and from this point on Sylvie is Sylvie (this is an example of a transgender story so I really hope Disney doesn’t mess this up).
So, the first three episodes, Loki is confronted with their lack of uniqueness, their narcissism, and their total lack of self awareness.
Then we get to episode four and this is where our favorite train wreck God of Mischief finally begins to accept that how they behave is a problem and they need to change. First their new friend, Mobius, gets mad at Loki for lying to and abandoning him. Morpheus calls Loki a “bad friend” and shoves him into a time loop where Loki sees his old…friend (?) - I don’t think Sif and Loki were ever friends, but it’s the closest I’ve got - Sif after they had cut her hair. Sif kicks Loki for the offense, tells them that they’ll always be alone, and stomps away. Loki, at first scoffs, states that they remember this event and that they then had a bath and a glass of wine. Loki feels justified, until Sif shows up again. The whole scene plays out a couple of times, which tells the audience that this is a time loop. Loki is stuck their for a while.
Eventually, Mobius let’s Loki out, but not before Loki confesses to being a narcissist and scared of being alone. Mobius tells Loki he believes them and that they are going to go rescue Sylvie together. And this is when (SPOILERS) Mobius is disintegrating right in front of Loki. The first person that Loki cares about as a friend (or maybe more than if Disney would have allowed it…grrr) and is cared about in return, is violently “killed” in front of them. Loki is in visible distress, nearly crying.
It is at this point in the episode that I am screaming at the screen for someone to get Loki into therapy. They clearly need it.
The episode ends with Loki getting disintegrated in front of Sylvie. A mid credit scene shows us they’re not actually dead (go figure), just in a place called “the void” surrounded by other Lokis.
Episode five has probably the most needed character development that Loki has long needed. Since Loki is notorious for surviving, this void is filled with Lokis (including an alligator version that is there because they ate the wrong neighbor’s cat and is totally my favorite - someone get me a plushy!). The more of them Loki is confronted with, the more embarrassed Loki is for themselves.
My favorite line from this episode comes from Classic Loki:
“We cannot change. We’re broken, every version of us. Forever. And whenever one of us dares try to fix themselves, they’re sent here to die.“
Loki eventually realizes that every version of themself is capable of great things if they want to. Our Loki and Sylvie go off to finish off the big bad while Mobius (he’s actually still alive by the way), kid Loki, and alligator Loki go to take down Mobius’s old work place. Mobius and Loki share a very emotional hug (which should have been a kiss) and part ways.
This leads us to episode six and why I’m tying my weird obsession with this YouTube “drama” together.
As of writing and posting this blog, episode six hasn’t aired. I’m sure I’ll be an emotional wreck, seeking out fanfiction once I watch it, but until then I have my own speculations and they loosely tie in with YouTuber 1.
YouTuber 1 is acting and displaying behavior a lot like Loki from the beginning of his MCU story. It’s not a direct one to one parallel - it can’t be - but part of me wonders what would happen if YouTuber 1 was placed into a situation like we see Loki in at the beginning of their TV series. Would YouTuber 1 learn the same lessons as Loki? I don’t know.
But I can say how cathartic it is to watch Loki get Hulk smashed at the end of the first Avengers movie after being such a terrible person (and fantastic villain) throughout the story. Now, I don’t want YouTuber 1 to get Hulk smashed, but I do want to find out what the consequences for their actions will be.
I don’t know YouTuber 1 personally, but so much of their life is online and they don’t hide anything. They just blame their mental illness - which is another major issue I have with them - for their bad behavior. I want to know the end of this story (someone compared it to a Greek tragedy and it really appears to be).
And that’s why I don’t think I can look away. There’s so much that’s unbelievable in this story. I want YouTuber 1 to realize that they are not being a good person…let alone a good friend. I want them to have the character journey that Loki is having in the Loki TV show. I highly doubt that this is going to happen.
Heck, I doubt I’ll get a cathartic ending to the YouTube story at all.
I might get one for Loki.
*HERE’S WHERE I SPECULATE ON THE FINAL LOKI EPISODE*
If I were the writer of the Loki tv show, I would end the series with the big bad being revealed to be…another Loki.
Why?
Because who better to mess up a person’s life than themselves. I should know, I’m really good at messing up my own life.
My theory has been really well set up in the story. The dialogue all points to Loki always messing up his own life and when they try to change, they aren’t allowed to by the mysterious organization…the TVA. They’re also so into themselves that they might fall in love with themselves (granted this could be a metaphor for self love, but I don’t think that’s where this is going).
Who better to run the TVA than someone who wants total control of the universe than an egotistical narcissist like Loki from the Avengers?
This is the ending I think we need for Loki. They’ve come to understand how awful they’ve been, they want to change for the better, have realized that what they want and what they need are very different things, and are ready to confront the big bad. And it would be awesome if that big bad was another version of themselves. What a perfect ending to a story about personal growth, change, and owning the bad things done.
Is that the ending we’re going to get?
I hope so, but the MCU is big on bringing in other villains to tie into their upcoming movies. So it could be some random person from out of nowhere that will fight Dr. Strange in a few months.
If I’m right about my theory, I will be rejoicing like crazy (because it’s the story the MCU Loki deserves). If it’s not, I’ll be grumbling about it somewhere on the Internet and hoping fanfiction authors write some good “fix it” stories.
I know YouTuber 1 isn’t going to have this story…even if I think they might benefit from it. Hopefully they get off the Internet and get the help they need. I hope that the people hurt by this heal. I may want to know how it all ends, but I don’t need to and it’s really none of my business. It’s just on the Internet.
Let me know you’re Loki theories.
Until next week.
If you enjoyed this post (or it really pissed you off) please like, share, and/or leave a comment. I love hearing from my readers and I hope you guys like hearing from me.
Some extra notes: you guys might be wondering why I use the “they” pronoun this post. For the YouTubers, it’s because I don’t want their names and/or genders known. They don’t know who I am and I’d like to stay far away from them knowing me.
I chose to use the pronoun “they” for Loki for a couple of reasons, not least of which because I do see Loki the character as gender fluid. The actor who plays Loki, Tom Huddleston, has mentioned that he views Loki as gender fluid. I wanted to acknowledge that in this post.
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