We’re all human. We all make mistakes.
But being a creep is not a mistake...it’s being a creep.
Today I was sad to pop on Twitter and see another YouTube celebrity scandal trending. It’s not the first time I’ve learned through a social media platform that a person or group I enjoyed turned out to be terrible, but it never gets easier to learn.
There’s a famous saying (one that I have no idea whom to attribute to) that you “should never meet your heroes”. I’ve interpreted this saying a few different ways. One way is that everyone is human and that putting someone you don’t know on a pedestal is going to hurt everyone. Heck, putting someone you do know is going to backfire spectacularly and it’s inevitable that the relationships won’t end well.
Another is learning that the person you admired is actually terrible.
I remember there was a great Hey Arnold episode called “Pre-Teen Scream” when the character Phoebe gets the opportunity to meet her favorite singer. Long story short, Phoebe learns the hard way that her idol isn’t worthy of her affection. She makes a lot of assumptions about the singer, Ronnie, and builds him up to be a perfect person. Once Phoebe learns the truth about his inability to write, let alone sing, his songs, does her fantasy come crashing down. Oddly, it’s her very flawed best friend Helga who is there to help her through the realization.
I think this was the first time I was exposed to a plot like this. Hey Arnold was a wonderful show that tackled a lot of heavy topics like addiction, mental health, poverty, bullying, and even death in ways that children could handle. The “Parents Day” episode never fails to make me cry buckets of tears. Honestly go watch Hey Arnold - I think it’s still on Hulu.
I’m glad Hey Arnold had an episode like this. It set my expectations to not idolize people, especially ones I don’t know. It helped me learn how to handle that disappointment and sadness that comes from that knowledge.
A few years ago, I learned that one of my favorite YouTube teams didn’t treat some of their coworkers all that well. It was a big scandal in that community and a lot of nasty gossip and truths were shoved into the public light. Because of the fight, I found that I couldn’t enjoy the creators who did the bad things.
And it got me worrying. I started thinking things like: was I a bad person for enjoying their work while they were acting bad? Am I bad for having supported them? Were there signs I missed?
I stopped watching that YouTube team’s videos. Their actions and the fall out distinctly put them in the wrong. Sometimes I’m annoyed with myself by how much I liked their work before I learned that they weren’t great people. But the reality is there’s nothing for me to do but move on with my life and find new people (who hopefully don’t do bad things) to watch.
The same thing is true about mainstream celebrities, politicians, and anyone else who spends more than 15 minutes in the spot light. They are people who have flaws just like I do. Sometimes they snap at a fan when they have a bad day. Sometimes they’re absolute creeps (*cough Woody Allen *cough).
After so many years, I’ve just come to the conclusion that I don’t really want to meet the rich and famous. I’m good watching them on TV or in movies or reading their books and keeping my distance.
I know this blog post sounds like a complete downer. Some celebrities, politicians, and famous people are really nice and genuine. If they were still alive, I would have loved to have met Vincent Price or Carry Grant. Vincent Price seemed like a really cool person.
But building people up to be perfect isn’t fair to them. Wanting to meet celebrities is fine, but stalking them (especially if they’re kids) isn’t cool. Demanding a person’s attention that you don’t know isn’t something we should do.
It sucks that another celebrity I liked in my early 20s decided to do a terrible thing, but that’s not a moral failing on my part. It’s theirs. If you’ve ever been disappointed by a hero, you’re not alone.
Sometimes people get redemption arcs. Sometimes they don’t deserve them.
The moral of this post is: everyone makes mistakes, but sometimes the people making them are terrible.
If you enjoyed this post (or it really pissed you off) please like, share, and/or leave a comment. I love hearing from my readers and I hope y’all like hearing from me.
Until next week.
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