Welcome to Stress in Motion

Moving sucks. It’s painful, emotional, expensive, and an all around pain in the butt. My current place is a mess and I’m grumpy about it. I have so many things to do and I’m freaking out on how to do them all.

I wish I had a teleported or time machine to get me through all of this. I can’t wait for it to be April or May when all of this is over. I’m tired of being emotional and stressed.

I’ve heard that moving is one of the biggest stresses that a person can go through. I believe it. It’s up there with getting married, funerals, and having kids. I’ve only ever moved so I can’t speak on the other major stresses in life. I can tell you all that I hate it.

How have I been dealing with this newly stressful situation?

By taking it one day at a time.

That’s all I really can do. I’ve made a list of everything that needs to be done. I’ve spent time with friends and called my family. I’ve started throwing away and donating things that I no longer want or need.

I honestly sometimes wonder why I have the things I do, but that’s not a question I can answer now. I just need to put everything carefully into boxes and figure out how to get my couch out of my apartment (we got it in somehow so we can get it out).

Stress sucks. My muscles tense up and I have a hard time falling a sleep. I pace and can only think of every worst case scenario that could possibly happen - instead of the good things. My mind won’t freaking shut up.

It’ll pass...eventually. Everything will get done...eventually.

This is how these things go.

This is me screaming...

But if anyone ever tells you that it’s easy to pick up and leave a place laugh. I get annoyed when someone says that if there are no jobs near you to move near the jobs. It’s never that simple and it’s  very expensive (especially if the job isn’t helping you out).

Seriously, can someone get to inventing a teleported?

Thats all I have for tonight. I don’t know if I’ll have a new blog post up for you guys until I’ve made it to my new home. So until next time everyone!

If you enjoyed this post (or it really pissed you off) please like, share, and/or leave a comment. I love hearing from my readers and I hope you like hearing from me.

Welcome to the End of a Chapter

I knew it was coming.

I just thought I'd have a little bit more time, but that's not how life goes. Life doesn't give you a clean break when things changing. I can't teleport myself from one place to the next with all my stuff ready to move with me.

After almost six months, I've found a wonderful job opportunity. I'm really excited and it's in a field that I'm very passionate about.

However, it will take me away from the life I've built in Northern New Jersey and taking me back to my home state of Virginia.

I have a lot of feelings about this transition. I'm excited for the job - relieved to finally have a job. I'm happy to be moving closer to the friends and family I left behind in Virginia. I feel ready for the next adventure I'm to go on.

But I'm also sad. I've made some really good friends in New Jersey and they are just as sad as I am that I'm leaving. From my yoga teacher to the people I see every week at the farmer's market. From my two writing groups to my wonderful landlady and her three adorable beagles. I'm going to miss all of them.

I'm going to miss being able to roll out of bed on a Friday morning to catch the train into New York City. I'm going to miss going and seeing a show on a random night of the week because I can always catch the last train home (even if there are tons of drunk kids on it with me). I'm going to miss my favorite hiking spots and the view of the city from Rt 17 South in Ramsey.

I've found myself with a wonderful opportunity and I've decided to take it. I don't know what's exactly is about to happen next, but I've been in this position before.

The first time I moved for my first job, it wasn't a difficult transition. I was about an hour away from my friends and family. The second move from Maryland to New Jersey was a lot harder. I didn't know anyone in New Jersey except for a few coworkers. I cried the entire drive. I burst into tears as soon as the movers showed up at my apartment.

Thankfully, my roommate I lived with that first year in New Jersey was one of the most wonderful people I could have met.

I moved again after a year, but only ten minutes up the way. It wasn't the hardest move and I was excited to have my own place again. My landlady was so nice and the doggies so cute.

Part of me wishes that I could fast-forward through the next few months. Looking back on those first few moves, I remember the emotions that the change caused. There's so much work I have to do, but I can't do it all at once. I still have to take everything one day at a time.

I know that this will all turn out for the best. I just have to get through saying good bye and settling into my new home. I don't want to lose the relationships I've gained, but I know the reality of this type of move.

I'm happy to be going back to Virginia. I'm excited for this job.

I'm sad that this chapter of my life is coming to a close.

I wish I knew more about what the next chapter brings.

Hopefully it's not a cliffhanger.

Welcome to Weird Dreams

I have some super vivid dreams - to the point where I sometimes confuse my memories of the dreams for reality. There's always some tiny detail that helps me realize that these memories are actually dreams, things like an extra room in my grandpa's house or I realize that I have never had a polar bear as a pet (not that I would ever want one).

The subconscious is a strange place. It isn't even a place, though it sometimes feels like it is. Scientists have been trying to find the answer as to why we humans have dreams. Some think it's a way for our minds to sort out all of the information we take in while awake to better store as memories, others find that dreams help us understand our emotions.

TV shows, movies, books, graphic novels, and other forms of media have portrayed the subconscious and the dreams we create in some way or another. I think my favorite depiction is from the play The Book of Mormon when one of the main characters has a dream about going to Disney World only to end up in "spooky scary Mormon hell." It's a depiction of his guilt about treating the other main character like crap and a manifestation of his arrogance rolled into one.

Dreams have always had a significant meaning to the human existence. Many biblical figures such as the two Josephs, Pontius Pilate, and St. John the Divine all had important dreams that shaped the course of Christianity (and in the first Joseph's case Judaism). There are dream interpretation websites and books for sale dedicated to help people interpret their dreams (mileage may vary with these).

As I wrote before, I occasionally will mix up a remembered dream for an actual event that took place. It usually takes me a couple of minutes to realize my mistake, but the dream or the memory of the dream feels so real that part of me thinks that it must have happened. Maybe it did in another timeline or universe, one where I made Y decision instead of X.

Some people believe that dreams can be used to tell the future. I'm not sure if I'm ready to believe in prophecy dreams, but I have had some weird ones that can be attributed to my ability to pick up on tiny details in my surroundings. For example, I was told as a little kid that when you dream about fish someone close to you is expecting a baby. I've had a fish dream (usually where I'm swimming in an ocean) a couple of times and each time, someone I knew was indeed pregnant. I think it's more that I picked up the signs that they were expecting before they chose to tell me that they were.

One particularly weird dream that came true involved my friend's significant other proposing. I was in a car with the two of them and the significant other turned around and said: "I'm so excited, I'm going to propose." I told my friend who totally brushed the dream off. The next week my friend and their significant figure went on vacation with my friend's family. The significant other proposed at the very end of the trip.

My friend was shocked and happy. The significant other told me to never have another dream about them again - like I can control that.

My point is, that sometimes dreams literally come true. My guess is that the subconscious picks up on something or other and makes a connection that the conscious mind can't. This is what causes these prophecy like dreams. Cultural norms and superstitions help shape the signs that stand out in our dreams that point us in the correct direction.

So, what do you guys think about dreams be they prophecy like, weird nightmares, vivid adventures, or lucid explorations? Most of the time I enjoy my dreams and wish that they had been real life experiences (I mean they were real in my head). They inspire my creative side and many a nightmare have been the basis for a short horror story.

I'll leave you guys with a strange dream I recently had. Maybe you'll find a meaning to it that I couldn't or you'll just think it was a funny dream.

A couple of nights ago, I had this really bizarre dream where I was camping on an island. It was really cold and wet in the dream, until a huge polar bear showed up. The polar bear popped out of the water and started trying to snuggle with me. At first I was scared, thinking the bear was going to attack or eat me. As the dream continued, the polar bear kept popping up, only to continue to try and use me as an unwilling teddy bear. Eventually I was just mildly annoyed by the whole situation (I think there were zombies running around too at this point), but that's when my alarm went off and I grumpily hit the snooze button. Then I started having a lucid dream about changes to the Land Pavilion at Disney World's Epcot park. I was kind of sad to lose my polar bear companion.

Until next week!

If you enjoyed this post (or it really pissed you off) please like, share, and/or leave a comment. I love hearing from my readers and I hope you guys like hearing from me.