Welcome to the Lessons of Cinderella

This week, while lurking around the Internet, I came across a news article about how Kristen Bell and Keira Knightly don't like certain fairy tales. More specifically, they don't like the message and, in Knightly's case, out right ban the Disney movies Snow White, Cinderella, and the Little Mermaid. They feel that these stories teach problematic lessons and can have a negative impact on their children. You can read one of the many news articles here.

I can understand some of their arguments.

There's no question in my mind that these stories have problematic tropes and themes. I'm not big on true love's first kiss breaking a spell, especially when it's to wake up a sleeping princess. That's just a little creepy. I'm also not big on how Ariel decides to give up everything for a guy and, in the Disney version, basically learns nothing from her misadventures. Giving up everything for some random guy that you've just met isn't a concept I understand.

Even some of Disney's more solid fairy tale classics, such as Beauty and the Beast and Lion King, aren't free from criticism. Beauty and the Beast has been accused of romanticizing Stockholm Syndrome (it doesn't) and highlights the problems of romance under duress (Belle is literally the captive of the Beast even though she runs off during the first night of her capture). It has been noted that The Lion King has a few issues with how the segregation between the hyenas and the lions is portrayed and then there's the whole "Divine Right of Kings" message that ends the movie.

Then there's Cinderella. This story in particular set Keira Knightly's teeth on edge. To quote Ms. Knightly during her interview with Ellen: "Cinderella, banned because she waits around for a rich guy to rescue her." She isn't alone in her feelings on Cinderella.

Cinderella has basically become the punching bag for everyone who wants to point out the flaws in Disney Princess movies. I often think of the line from the Cheetah Girl's song: "I don't want to be a Cinderella waiting in a dark cold dusty cellar, waiting for somebody to set me free." It basically sums up how a lot of critics perceive the story and character of Cinderella.

Despite the fact that I'm not this movie's biggest fan, I couldn't disagree with this assessment more.

At it's heart, Cinderella is the story about a young woman who is put in a terrible situation, where she is constantly emotionally and verbally abused, and despite all that is still a good person. The YouTube channel ScreenPrism put out an excellent video call "Cinderella: Stop Blaming the Victim" and it's a great explanation on why the criticism surrounding Cinderella is equally problematic. A lot of the points that I'll be covering in my blog post are coming from this video's analysis.

Cinderella is a hard working individual, she is kind to those who need it most (as shown by her relationship with many of the house's animal inhabitants), and very loyal to those she calls friends. In the Harry Potter universe she's a quintessential Hufflepuff.

Furthermore, her living situation is awful. She's basically been reduced to a servant in her own home and is abused by her only family. All Cinderella wants to do is go to a ball. She doesn't want to meet the prince. She certainly doesn't want to marry him. She wants a night off to party like any other teenage girl.

And what does her "family" do?

They mock her. They keep her so busy she can't work on her fixing dress, so the mice help Cinderella out because she's protected them from the nasty cat. Then, when Cinderella appears before her step mother and step sisters, ready for a fun night for the first time in her life, they rip her dress to shreds.

I take that back, they don't just rip her dress to shreds - they rip her dreams to shreds.

That's Cinderella's breaking point. It's the final crack that shatters Cinderella. Her family leaves her in a ruined dress and her fairy godmother arrives to save the day.

I'm not entirely sure why people expect Cinderella to be able to "save herself" in this type of situation. People who are in abusive situations often can't or won't leave for many reasons, the biggest one being that they don't know where to go if they leave.

Cinderella's fairy godmother could have been her kind next door neighbor who saw the whole incident and wanted to help the poor girl out, maybe let her know that there was someone there who would be there for her if she wanted to leave. Abusive people often isolate their victims, like what Cinderella's family does to her. The fairy godmother in the story is literally the person whom decided enough is enough, "I'm letting this poor girl know she has someone around who will get her to that ball".

We the audience don't know what really goes on between the prince and Cinderella during the ball. For the record, they probably were talking the whole time they were dancing. Back in that era that was how people go to know each other and it was perfectly appropriate to talk to your dance partner. You can see examples of this in most Jane Austin novels.

But let's skip the ball. Let's also skip the part where it's the archduke and not the prince who goes looking for Cinderella (I think Disney was just looking for more comic relief there). These aren't really all that important in the grand scheme of the story.

Instead I want to focus on the last part of the original Disney animated movie, the part where Cinderella is locked in her attic room. Cinderella doesn't take her imprisonment lying down. In fact, I would guess that since she's finally tasted freedom and realizes that someone out there cares about her, she's ready to fight tooth and nail to live that kind of life every day. Cinderella claws at the locked door. When that doesn't work, she asks her mice friends for help and again they gladly help her. Finally, when the evil cat has the mice cornered, Cinderella calls on the dog, whom she's told repeatedly not to chase the cat as he might be kicked out of the house, to chase that stupid evil cat.

Cinderella does save herself, but it's not in the way our society wants her to.

Our society and culture wants people who are strong and unafraid of calling other people out. There's a heavy focus on the hero solving their problems for themselves instead of asking for help or using team work. We want action, harsh words, and a strong demeanor, not kindness and friendliness.

Cinderella is resourceful in how she relies on her friends, isn't afraid to ask for help, and takes an opportunity when she sees it. She knows that the archduke, and by extension the prince, is going to get her out of an abusive household that she otherwise hasn't figured out how to escape. She knows that by helping other people out of the goodness of her heart that they are just as likely to help her back.

So stop telling little girls that the story of Cinderella is bad or anti-feminist. It isn't. She doesn't wait around for a prince to come rescue her.

If you really want a feminist retelling of Cinderella that also stays true to heart of the story watch Ever After starring Drew Barrymore, read Ella Enchanted (not the movie version, though its a good update too), or pick up a copy of Nikita Gill's latest book Fierce Fairy Tales: Poems & Stories to Stir Your Soul. Gill has a collection of poems within this book that focus on Cinderella, her evil step mother, her misguided step sisters, and her fairy godmother. They are fantastic and an excellent retelling of the Cinderella story.

By disregarding the story of Cinderella, we are teaching their children that people who suffer from abusive relationships are weak and don't need help to save themselves. That's BS! Everyone needs help sometimes, especially the people who don't know how to escape their situation.

Cinderella teaches us how to empathize and recognize someone who is going through this type of abuse.

I think that's a pretty good lesson to teach someone, don't you?

If you enjoyed this post (or it really pissed you off) please like, share, and/or leave a comment. I love hearing from my readers and I hope y'all like hearing from me.

Until next week...which will actually be two weeks as I am taking next week off. So see y'all in two weeks.