Welcome to Creative Burn Out

I've been staring at this blank page for about ten minutes. Ten minutes of me trying to figure out what I want to write in this week's blog. As I write these words, I still haven't decided what my topic is. The title is blank. My mind is blank.

At least there are now words on the page.

Writing when I'm creatively drained is a nightmare. I have so many stories and ideas buzzing around my head, yet when I sit down to put words on the page, there's nothing.

It's frustrating.

How do muggles banish dementors?

I want to write. I want to create. But there's this terrible disconnect between my imagination and reality.

There's also a bit of fear. I'm scared that instead of expressing myself in a constructive way, I'm just ranting or whining. My blog is a public space and anyone can read it. It can reflect who I am as a person.

Writing is hard.

Occasionally I'll throw random words on a page and try to connect them, like playing with those fridge magnets to form silly sentences. But that doesn't mean what I've written is any good. I've created lots of "crap" over the years.

Last week, I wrote about the art of failure and how I'm scared to fail. A few weeks before that, I wrote about my love of destruction and how it can lead to creation. One post was a lot better than the other and I wish I could replicate that success 100% of the time.

But if I've learned from my art, some things can't be recreated.

Except I can't. Even as I write this post, I've come to realize that I don't know what I want to say. So far these words feel more like a stream of consciousness than one of my actual blog posts (at least I'm not including every thought that's crossing my mind, that would be really annoying).

I've been struggling to find inspiration. I've worked on my melted crayon and acrylic paintings. I've written a poem for each day so far in April. I've gone hiking and worked out at the gym.

Maybe I'm burnt out.

Creative burn out isn't something I've ever really dealt with before. It usually comes so naturally to me. It's a great distraction from all the other stress I'm under.

Except now it's not.

Until next week...if I'm not still burnt out.

If you enjoyed this post (or it really pissed you off), please like, share, and/or leave a comment. I love hearing from my readers and I hope you guys like hearing from me.