Welcome to Lessons Learned In My Mid-Twenties

One of my friends was kind enough to remind me that both of us are now in our mid-twenties. Well, we've been there for a little while already. I just had never really thought that that much time had passed. I mean I still get carded when I go out with a group of friends.

Anyway, my friend got me thinking about everything that has happened so far in my life. I haven't done a lot of things, but I've still managed to do a lot. I've had my ups and I've had my downs. I've also had to do a lot of reevaluations of what I want out of life.

Some of my hardest lessons have come with tears and hurt feelings. Other experiences are so amazing, I sometimes have a hard time reminding myself that they actually happened. Life isn't easy, nor is it a straight path. There's rarely a time when my long term  plans haven't been drastically disrupted by something I didn't account for.

Throughout all of this, there is one thing I know for sure about myself and that's that I am a life long learner. I want to learn new things. I want to understand how things work. I'm also notorious for learning things by putting my head through a brick wall (metaphorically of course).

I've done a lot of learning since graduating and moving out. Most of it good, some of it not so good, and then there's the occasional so terrible I don't want to leave my bed ever again bad life lessons. The only thing they all had in common was that they were lessons I needed to learn, for better or worse.

One of the best lessons I've learned in my mid-twenties is that change is going to happen, whether I want it to or not. I've moved four times in the last 5 years. No I don't recommend doing that and one was very unexpected. However, I was able to discover that I can handle these types of changes a lot better than I originally thought I would.

Another lesson I am happy to have learned is that it's okay to not have a significant other. There seems to still be a lot of pressure in our society to pair up. I am perfectly happy single and  when/if I do find a significant other, I hope I'm happy in that relationship too. Otherwise it's not worth getting into.

I've learned that pride and arrogance are not only dangerous, they can also be destructive. I don't really want to get into this one too much (especially with the current state of affairs around the world politically). I'm also not talking about the kind of pride that drives me to work hard. I'm talking about the kind of pride that leads to arguments and lost friendships.

Learning that you can't be friends with everyone was a tough lesson. I don't think I'm alone when I say it's nice to be liked and to like other people. That doesn't mean that I can get along with everyone else and hey, maybe there's something (or a lot of things) that I do that really annoy other people. Some people find it charming and others discover they want nothing to do with me. Trying to not pursue a friendship when it's a lost cause was tough.

Probably the most important lesson I've had to learn is that no one is prefect and that's okay. This is similar to learning that it's okay to fail, but different I feel it's different enough to be it's own lesson. Failure implies that I made a mistake and can correct it later to achieve success and by extension perfection. Maybe it's a silly association, but I really struggled trying to separate the two. I understand now that I'll never be "prefect".

Huh, I got really personal with this post. Maybe I should have learned some of these things a lot sooner than I have. I don't know if anyone else has had to learn these lessons. What I do know is, is that I still have a lot of learning to do. Figures crossed, nothing too dramatic happens.

Oh, who am I kidding, I never learn anything without putting my head through a brick wall first (again metaphorically).

If you enjoyed this post (or it really pissed you off) please like, share, and/or leave a comment. I love hearing from my readers and I hope you guys like hearing from me. Until next week.

Welcome To Focus

Between meditation, yoga, and practicing mindfulness, I like to think that I'm getting better at staying focused. I make an effort to notice everything I do and try to think about my actions before I make them. It doesn't always work, but I keep trying. After all practice makes prefect. So I better keep practicing right?

When I'm really focused on something I can block out everything. The whole world seems to melt away and it's just me and the task that I have set out to accomplish. More often than not, I have some epic music playing in the background that keeps me pumped (and make me feel more important than I actually am). I call it zoning (because I'm in the zone - yes it's a bad pun) and I get so focused on what I'm doing that other people have had to resort to some creative ways to get my attention. Loud noises are often involved.

I love it when I'm super focused. I don't notice time moving forward, I tend to be more relaxed, and I feel very productive.

Then there are the days that no matter what I do, I can't seem to focus on anything. It could be anything from something I love doing (like writing this blog) to something I find very boring (like reading an instruction manual). I know I need to focus on these tasks, but there's something far more interesting going on in my mind.

Those days are very frustrating. I honestly do want to get my task done. It's just that there's a whole world outside of that task that is begging me to explore it. Or maybe my mind is jumping from one thought to the next with no signs of slowing down. What do I do?

I should probably notice that I'm super distracted. This is a lot easier said than done. To work around this I try to plan out one or two major breaks where I can evaluate how I'm feeling physically and mentally. This is when I realize that I've been sitting too long and need to stretch my legs (and make a few notes about what movements to request at yoga this week).

Physical movement help a lot. When I'm thinking really hard about something I have a bad habit of pacing. As I get a lot of weird looks when I do this, I try not to pace at work. There aren't a lot of reasons for me to walk around while I'm at work (usually I'm getting up to get more coffee). I try to get some form of exercise at least three times a week. The exercise is helpful, but it isn't always enough.

My yoga teachers have been teaching us different breathing techniques. These are used to help us stay in our movements and not forget to breath when holding a position. These techniques are also really great ways to stay focused on my yoga practice.

If physical movement isn't enough to keep my mind on what I should be working, focusing on my breathing does. The breathing techniques I use are also how my yoga teachers start our classes. They are meant to be used to draw our awareness into ourselves and leave the outside world behind (which can be tough when people in the main gym drop heavy weights on the ground).

I love it when I can focus on what I am doing and accomplish it in the time frame I want to. Distractions are tiring and can really throw off the rest of my day. I need to accept the fact that when I'm distracted I can't force the issue. I need to take sometime to check in mentally and physically. Afterwards, I  can get back to work.

Now, I'm going to make some tea. I hope you guys had a great weekend and are ready to greet Monday morning. I know I'm not.

Until next week.

If you enjoyed this post (or it really pissed you off), please like, share, and/or leave a comment. I love hearing from me readers and I hope you guys like hearing from me.

Welcome To Not Having Plans

So, if last week I wrote about how I like to have a plan, then it only makes sense to write about not having any plans this week. Right?

Though it's not really a secret (or at least I don't deny this fact), but since I graduated from college and got my first job, I haven't made any definite life plans. Oh I'll make short term plans, like where I want to go on vacation. I just haven't made any milestone plans.

Things like, getting married, buying a house, starting my own business, or taking over the world just aren't on my radar right now. They seemed really far away concepts.

Heck I don't even know "what I want to be when I grow up" still. Do I want to stay in research, try to become a successful author, should I try being a digital nomad? I don't know. I can't seem to figure out what my goals are.

Which means I can't make any long term plans to reach those goals.

That's a little scary.

I lack direction. I'm unsure of myself. I don't know what I want.

When I was still in elementary school, I made a goal to go to four year university. By the time I had finished middle school I had narrowed down which school I wanted to go to. As I went through high school, I made plans so that I would go to the college of my choice.

And I did.

When I got to college, I set the goal to graduate on time and get a job. Despite a few minor setbacks, I was able to do that too. I was able to do that by knowing what I wanted and planning out how to get that. I of course had a lot of help along the way.

Now I don't know what I want. Which means I can't make any plans.

I guess I just have to take life one step at a time until I can figure out what I want. Hopefully I don't take too long to figure it out. I like having a plan.

Until next week.

If you enjoyed this post (or it really pissed you off) please like, share, and/or leave a comment. I love hearing from my readers and I hope you guys like hearing from me.