Welcome to Tis the Quiet Season

Tis the season for people and parties galore, that by the end of it all it might feel like a chore. I'm not one for many major social events. I prefer to sit by the tree with a hot drink, wrapping presents.

I'll visit with friends on a few weekends. I love to see everyone and never want for fun. It's just sometimes it gets overwhelming and I need to find a quiet dwelling. Thankfully my family likes to spend our holiday together, curled up inside because of the cold weather.

On Christmas mourning we wake up slowly. Enjoy breakfast, then presents, and finally a nap - nice and cozy. The dogs are happy for a few good pets. Even the cat is as pleased as she gets.

Later, as the sun goes down, the whole family likes to gather round. We might watch a movie or read a few books while waiting for Christmas dinner to cook. It's perfect and quiet and just right for us (plus it's great no one is around to raise a huge fuss). Though we do fight the dogs for a space next to the roaring fire in the fireplace.

It's beautiful at night with all the holiday lights. They twinkle and glow, standing out against the ever growing snow. We might drive around to the many displays, to see the whole world look ablaze.

After dinner we clean up and get ready for bed - happy to think of the New Year ahead.

Christmas is a grand occasion. One that everyone has a different celebration. Going to parties is tons of fun and holiday events are second to none. But I'm happiest to be with those I love most, even when we aren't physically close.

And as I watch the snow gently fall, I feel as though there's peace on Earth and good will for all.

Merry Christmas to my may many readers. I hope you enjoyed this post's rhyming features. And let's all give a great big cheer for a Happy New Year!

If you enjoyed this post (or it really pissed you off) please like, share, and/or leave a message. I love hearing from my readers and I hope you guys like hearing from me.

I'll probably post again before New Years, but next week I'm off. Safe travels everyone!

Welcome to the Fluidity of the English Language

For those of you who don't frequent the same sides of the Internet that I do, you might have missed this holiday treat from PETA. This year, PETA wants us to stop using phrases that are cruel to animals and instead use non-violent language in our idioms (I've included the list below).

I'm half tempted to write this off entirely, but it's possible that 30-40 years down the line someone might find my comments and turn it into a "you're for animal cruelty" argument. The thing is, a cultural shift in how we discuss violence towards animals could happen. My generation might become completely confused as to why the younguns don't like real meat and instead want premium meat substitute (it tastes just like real meat, but without the actual meat).

All joking aside, I highly doubt that PETA's above suggestions will take hold in main stream American culture anytime soon. For one thing, some of the new suggestions don't hold the same meaning as the original idioms (bagels aren't as highly prized as bacon). Yet, that doesn't mean that some people won't adopt these phrases.

I have purposefully created some of my own words and phrases to help me better communicate. For example, I use the term Sig Fig (or significant figure) to mean a person's significant other (i.e. boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, etc.). I've also started using the pronoun they/them for anyone whose gender I am unfamiliar with. This one sprang out of my annoyance at constantly being mis-gendered in emails, even when my gender is specified in earlier communications (though it can be amusing to watch someone profusely apologize for this).

I'm not opposed to changes in the English language. Far from it. English has changed a lot in the last three centuries, let alone the time of early English and the first written accounts of Beowulf. I even struggle to read Shakespeare and that's considered to be written in Early Modern English.

Oh English, you really are the garbage disposal of European languages.

I mean this with as much love in my heart as possible (given the season and all). You're a language with over 500,000 unique words, more irregular verbs than regular, and enough flexibility for a guy called Shakespeare to invent 1,700 new words without everyone freaking out. There are dozens of regional dialects and more accents than I can distinguish.

Why couldn't my native language be easier to learn - let alone read and write?

I lived with a linguist for about a year in college. She once explained to me that English is a living language, therefore its constantly changing. This is why we dropped our informal second person form (thy/thou) around the early 1800s and how the phases "may I" and "can I" have become interchangeable in modern English.

I think there was more to her explanation, but me and the English language only get alone so well. Ergo, I've only remember so much of the conversation.

That doesn't mean I haven't noticed shifts in how our language is used.

There have always been words that have been taboo or extremely hurtful (none that I will type out here). As a kid, it's easy to accept the reasoning from adults that some words just aren't nice enough to say...ever...and a lot of them have four letters.

The level of how horrible a word is tends to be in correlation to societal attitudes at any given point in time. An example might be the word "gay". "Gay" at the turn of the 20th century was synonymous with words like "happy" or "joyful", hence it's use in the Christmas carol "Deck the Halls" which was written in 1862. Eventually, the use of the word shifted to mean a man who is attracted to other men.

However, in the early 2000s, I didn't know what the meaning of the word "gay" actually was. Other than the few times I'd heard it in Christmas carols, the only other time I'd heard the word "gay" used was as an insult or to mean "that which I do not like".

Boy, did I get a lesson in why I was wrong from my cousin who heard me say it in a negative way.

Because even though we teach that "sticks and stones may break our bones, but words can never hurt us", it isn't true. Words can hurt, a lot.

Language in many ways shape our perception of reality. Associating a negative connotation to a word can shape how we describe objects, places, and people. By thinking that the word "gay" meant something negative, I was starting to shape my future understanding of when a person was described as "gay". It wouldn't have been good and could have lead me to have an internal bias against gay people.

I was recently reminded at one of my writer's groups that I am often the first to point out problematic or non-politically correct language in a person's writing. It's not that I want to police language or how a person thinks, it's more that I want them to realize how their use of language will effect their perspective and their reader's assumptions. They, as the writer, might use words and phrases that a reader hasn't come across. They might write about ideas or subject matter that a reader is completely unfamiliar with.

And even if the author doesn't intend to, they do help shape their readers' sense of reality.

Do I ever feel bad about challenging someone's word choice or phrasing? Sometimes.

Do I know everything there is to know about problematic language or cultural linguistic shifts? Nope, can't say that I do.

The whole idea of what is or isn't offensive is incredibly subjective (so much so that I'm not certain I can say "Happy Holidays" without someone getting mad and demand that I say "Merry Christmas" instead). However, that doesn't excuse the fact that the words we pick and the phrases we use can be hurtful with or without intention.

I'm not perfect. I'm not always right (though I'm really good at pretending to be).

Is PETA being ridiculous to ask the English speaking world to make changes to their idioms (and also deny certain cultural aspects of the language itself)? In 2018 I think they are. But if you ask me this question again in 25-35 years, I might have a different answer.

If you enjoyed this post (or it really pissed you off) please like, share, and/or leave a comment. I love hearing from my readers and I hope y'all like hearing from me.

Until next week.

Welcome to Holiday Overload

Thanksgiving is over and it's December, I now give the people of the United States of America permission to start celebrating Christmas.

Not that the people of the United States of America really care when I want them to start celebrating the holiday season, it just makes me feel better to pretend that they do. For the next 20 some odd days, I'm going to be pulverized by Christmas movies, Christmas lights, Christmas commercials, Christmas shopping, Christmas etc. It's not the worst thing in the world, until it is.

And Christmas isn't even the only holiday this month. It just gets top billing.

I happen to also celebrate Yule (i.e. the Winter Solstice) and many of my friends celebrate Hanukkah/Chanukah, Kwanzaa, and other holidays. I can only imagine how tiresome it is for people who don't celebrate Christmas to hear I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus over and over again in every store they go into.

Personally, I get sick of hearing all the pop Christmas songs about a week into the holiday season. There are only so many times I want to hear Santa Baby or My Grown Up Christmas List before I want to rip my ears off my head. I'm even known to scream if the dreaded Christmas Shoes song starts playing on the radio.

This isn't meant to be a blog post complaining about Christmas or put a damper on people who are obsessed with the holiday. It's just that this season feels a bit...much at times.

I don't know if it's all the parties, my incessant need to please everyone, or my introvert nature that makes me feel on edge at this time of year. I just know that by the time New Years Eve rolls around, I'm so over stimulated I can't figure out how to relax at all. It's like this season is designed to exacerbate my anxiety.

That's why this year, I'm going to try incorporating more self care into my routine. These are things that I know are doable for me to incorporate into my schedule. Some things I plan on including:

Do at least one random act of kindness per day - Though this item doesn't feel like part of a self care routine, I personally like doing an act of kindness for someone once a day this season. It can be as simple as giving a stranger a complement or helping a confused tourist with directions. I do this because I like helping people and seeing their thanks. The mindset of acting kind to another person puts me in a better mood and I like to think that that that person will pay the act forward.

Connect with friends and family - One of the nicest things about the holidays is that everyone wants to get together. I love seeing friends and family, especially since this season can feel isolating. I might not be able to see everyone, but getting together with people (especially for tea or over lunch) is wonderful this time of year.

Scheduling quiet time - I naturally need a lot of down/quiet time already. However, the holiday season is full of parties and social events. I tend to overbook myself and forget to set aside time to recenter myself.

Remember that I can say "no" - Oh boy is this a tough one. I always feel the need to say "yes" to people's requests, but sometimes it's just too much. Like the first item in my list, it's important for me to not feel obliged to do everything this season. If I try to, I'm going to either get very sick or get really grumpy. That's why I need to remember to say "no" on occasion.

Have a quite place - When I know that I'm going to be surrounded by people for long periods of time - either because I'm going into the city or visiting family - I like to have a quiet place I know I can escape to if I feel overwhelmed. It can be hard to find one (especially when I'm visiting the city), but feeling that there is a place somewhere that I can retreat to makes me feel less stressed out.

This is my list of holiday self care. Yours might be different or you might not have created one. I think having a plan in place is better than getting grouchy because I haven't had time to recharge.

So say your "Happy Holidays", your "Merry Christmas", or any other seasonal greeting. Let the radio play Winter Wonderland twelve times a day. Plan a party or curl up with your sig fig. The holidays are supposed to be a time of magic and joy. If you start to feel like there's so much holiday cheer that you want to throw up candy canes, you're not alone.

Don't forget that you're mental and physical health is important. Take care of yourself this season.

Until next week.

If you enjoyed this post (or it really pissed you off) please like, share, and/or leave a comment. I love hearing from my readers and I hope you guys like hearing from me.